A Few Found Funnies

I found these here, but don’t go there if you can’t handle some crudeness.
Can’t believe how different booty calling and butt dialing are—
Scientists say Jupiter cant support human life but maybe Jupiter’s just really focused on her career for now. Why be so judgmental, science?—
It’s sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his violence, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.—
I can almost always tell if a movie doesn’t use real dinosaurs—
When I pick my daughter up from day care she screams “DADDY!” and runs towards me for a hug and it’s like be cool **** you look desperate.—
Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?—
Such a double standard between men & women, like when men have sex with lots of women they’re “players,” but when I do it I’m a “lesbian.”—