Things that are caused by, may be caused by, or are suspected reactions of man-made global warming*:
| Migratory bird changes | Polar Bear population decline |
| Rain forest decline | Democrats in office |
| Al Gore’s expanding waistline | Earthquakes |
| Hangnails | Dust bunnies |
| High food prices | Homelessness |
| Despair | Congressional lies |
| Presidential political cave-in | Hollywood hypocrisy |
| Dimming of the moon | Slowing of earth rotation |
| Forgetting to brush one’s teeth | Tomato contamination |
| Teen pregnancy | Crappy rap music |
| Low high school graduation rates | Redesign of Treasury bills |
| My failure to grow vegetables | American Idol |
| Los Angeles Laker’s 2008 record | Declining US IQ levels |
| Bad hair days | Hurricanes |
| Tornadoes | Sunny days |
| Sunshine | Snow |
| Swearing/cursing | Puke green paint |
| Socialism | Loneliness |
| Giddiness | Vertigo |
| Food poisoning | Marriage |
| Divorce | Sneezing |
| Dry skin | Bad science |
| Stupidity | Apathy |
| Breakdowns on the highway | Athlete’s foot fungus |
| Hairy armpits | High hospital bills |
| Bad/stupid laws | Wasp stings |
| Low birth rate | Overpopulation |
| Rising sea levels | Rising gullibility levels |
| Disco music | Pudding |
| Stained glass | Broken glass |
and many, many more…
* These may not all be documented, but I trust that they will at some point. When scientists can get research grants to “prove” that it is true.