I was recently moving some things around, and I came across a book I purchased years ago for fun. “The Limerick Book” is very thick and full of…limericks. Some of them are not for public fare, but from time to time I’ll share some of them with you.
A mum had a daughter named Shelley
Who started to grow big in the belly
“What’s this” said Mum
Patting Shelley’s tum
“You’ve spent too much time down the Deli…”
There was a young man named Jeff
Who yearned to be a good chef
But instead of cutting out gristle
He could blow a good whistle
So they turned him into a ref.
There was once a veteran plumber
Who refused to dig ditches in summer.
“Now that I’m older
I only dig when it’s colder,
Digging dirt in the heat is a bummer.”
They said that it would never fall
It was concrete, rigid and tall.
The people said “Enough!”
And showed they were tough
By knocking down the old Berlin Wall.
There was an old man who averred
He had learned how to fly like a bird.
Cheered by thousands of people
He leapt from the steeple –
This tomb states the date it occurred.
There was a young fellow named Weir
Who hadn’t an atom of fear.
He indulged in a desire
To touch a live wire…
Most any last line will do here.
A collegiate damsel named Breeze
Weighed down by VAs and Lit. D’s,
Collapsed from the strain
Alas, it was plain,
She was killing herself by degrees!
There was a young lady named Kinter,
Who married a man in the winter.
The man’s name was Wood,
And now, as they should,
The Woods have a cute little splinter.
Okay, one I’m not sure that Hammy’s grammy will like, but here goes…
(Hammy can edit if he wishes)
There was a young man from St. Paul’s
Who read Harper’s Bazaar and McCall’s
Till he grew such a passion
For feminine fashion
That he knitted a snood for his balls.
Weekend Limerick Open Comments
by
Tags:
Comments
-
Someone gave me that book years ago.
-
Happy Sattidy Hamoustonians™ !
-
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept his money in a bucket
His daugheter named Nan
Ran off with a man
And the bucket? Nan tuck it. -
He was in the Army with some time to kill
There was a way, and there was a will
As time was plenty
He grabbed his twenty
And went to the Main Gate at Fort Sill -
At Fort Sill the young man was drawn,
Where at the gate he was until dawn,
He stumbled to bed,
The sunrise to dread,
To find more than his twenty was gone. -
#5 TT
Oh, I thought it would end that he got back to the barracks with more than he bargained for at that gate. -
Hey, it’s “The Weekend”!
Mornin’ Gang as per normal on Satiddy I slept until 7:30. Lil’ Bit woke me up licking my face. 😉 -
Oh, I thought it would end that he got back to the barracks with more than he bargained for at that gate.
Most likely the gift that keeps on giving, and Like Vegas, what happens at the main gate doesn’t necessarily STAY at the main gate. 😉
-
I was trying to find the right rhyme…it just didn’t come to me.
-
My muse, sometimes she sleeps
And my words locked in her dreams she keeps,
Causing frustration
And much agitation
When I can’t get the dang word I need to rhyme. -
Does anyone know if Joe Pags on in Houston anymore? I listen to him on Sat Radio on Saturdays. I’m glad Edd Hindee is back on in the mornings, he’s not my favorite but hes ten time better than the one he replaced. 950 now has a couple of IDIOTS on in the morning, there no way a person with an IQ of over 80 could listen to that. The hyper ventilating dude on KSEV in the afternoon is gone. He was a good guy and I agreed with him all the time but DANG, he was tiring to listen to, way to excitable. Of course Michael Berry is THE BEST thing on radio anywhere, Rush is second. Hannity sucks bilge water. I hear that Michael Savage is coming back on KSEV,…I think? I wish they’d put G Gordon Liddy back on, he’s on a Shreveport AM station that I listen to at the deer camp. sometimes.
-
I’m feeling butt-kicked again today, so I need to take it reeeaaaallll easy today. Hubby and Handsome went out for breakfast, and they brought food back for me. Yay! I also remembered I have a little grabber thingie, which I now have hooked on my wheelchair. It will keep me from bending over as often. Yay!
-
I believe Michael Savage is on KSEV in the evenings.
I, too, found Mack absolutely exhausting to listen to. Intensity is a nice place to visit, but to live there…
I can only imagine what his home life must be life. His wife is a special, special woman. But I’ll bet she feels well-protected. -
I can only imagine what his home life must be life. His wife is a special, special woman. But I’ll bet she feels well-protected.
Prolly like a one armed paper hanger in a tornado.
-
Joe Pags is not carried on any Houston station right now, but you can probably get him on podcast (of his WOAI San Antonio show)from his web page, if that works for you. I don’t care for Walton & Johnson myself, but they do have a huge following in Houston.
-
Capitalism and competition rule – in Oklahoma.
That is, the price of surgery is a total mystery unless you go to the Surgery Center of Oklahoma in Oklahoma City. They post their prices online.
Founded nearly 15 years ago by Dr. Keith Smith and Dr. Steven Lantier, the clinic has thrived on its promise of “price transparency,” KFOR-TV reports.
“What we’ve discovered is health care really doesn’t cost that much,” said Smith. “What people are being charged for is another matter altogether.”
The company started posting its all-inclusive surgery prices online four years ago:
“When we first started we thought we were about half the price of the hospitals,” Dr. Lantier said. “Then we found out we’re less than half price. Then we find out we’re a sixth to an eighth of what their prices are. I can’t believe the average person can afford health care at these prices.”
By being upfront about their prices, the KFOR-TV report explains, the clinic hoped to win over customers by defeating its competition in a price war.
The Oklahoma doctors were successful on both accounts.
“Their first out-of-town patients came from Canada; soon everyday Americans caught on,” the report reads. “A handful of other Oklahoma medical facilities have started joining Surgery Center of Oklahoma in price transparency.”
“Surgery Center of Oklahoma does accept private insurance, but the center does not accept Medicaid or Medicare,” the report continues. “Dr. Smith said federal Medicare regulation would not allow for their online price menu.”
They have been able to avoid government regulations in that area by simply not accepting Medicaid or Medicare payments.
Patients like what they see and they are demanding price-matching — much to the chagrin of some hospitals.
“Hospitals are having to match our prices because patients are printing their prices and holding that in one hand and holding a ticket to Oklahoma City in the other hand and asking that hospital to step up,” Dr. Smith said. “So we’re actually causing a deflationary effect on pricing all over the United States.” -
Water hauled to poor little oak tree…
-
Tedtam
he knitted a snood for his balls.
Now there is a string of words I would never have considered stringing together. I am in awe of your verbal machinations and prowess.
-
BTW wouldn’t purchasing a bowling bag been simpler.
-
The soldier is now an old galoot
A trip to the Gate would surely be moot
Before you he stands
A gray haired old man
The product of a misspent yoot -
#18 Squawk
Now there is a string of words I would never have considered stringing together. I am in awe of your verbal machinations and prowess.
Alas, I cannot take credit for that wondrous connection of syllables.
-
I just stumbled upon this great little investment opportunity which looks like a chance to really get in on the ground floor and go somewhere. Thought I would share it with my best friends.
http://internationalcatspeculators.com/ -
#14 Dave
Prolly like a one armed paper hanger in a tornado.
Surely you meant to say “in a Sharknado”.
-
#25 mharper42, yes, I should have, but in my old age I just don’t keep up like I used to. 😉
-
Surely you meant to say “in a Sharknado”.
Speaking of which, there’s going to be a sequel.
Bearnami.
H/T AoSHQ -
#27 😀
-
The saga of O’Doul and McNelly
Who were forced to walk belly to belly
In their great haste
They used library paste
Instead of lubricant jelly. -
And I think I saw something like a slasher movie: Pandamonium.
-
There was a Secretary of State named Kerry,
Who had priorities merry,
“Let Egypt burn
While I sail through this turn,”
Said Kerry and on the water he did tarry. -
The Presidential couple named Obama,
Invited over the Dalai Lama,
And thought this is rich,
And karma’s a wiss,
The kitchen exit became the Lama Drama. -
And alongside Kerry is Barry
Both of whom are somewhat scary
One’s as white as a birch
And he looks like Lurch
And some think the other is really a fairy -
There was a young Preezy named Bronco
Who said “Ta Hell wit ya Honkies!”
His beard was a fright,
Her frocks quite a sight,
But they partied and acted like monkeys. -
Marino is growing a spine
“This administration will toe the line!
They’ll all go to jail,
And go without bail,
Our values to realign!” -
There is a devilish man named Obummer
elected by fraud and the dumb and dumbers
He came to this land from Kenya to plunder
as herds of RINOS all cower and run for cover -
I miss walking. 🙁
-
You need bionic body parts, my dear. Hope you are recovered soon and able to “over-do” to your heart’s content. 🙂
-
If you can imagine the expression on this Far Side cat’s face, pressed to the window – longing + excitement – then that is the expression I can elicit from my boy cats anytime I have been working in the back yard, in their clear view out the family room big back window. If I stop and pluck some Johnson grass blades from a stand of it behind the garage, then head to the house waving the grass, I can see up to 3 ecstatic cat faces. By the time I get inside, I have all the cats bleating at the back door.
Indoors-only cats love grass but growing it in containers is a lot of trouble. They like to chew on these big blades and after they dry out by the next day, I just sweep them up and discard. -
Cats are stoopid.
-
Zimmerman bulletin:
The jury is deliberating.
Thatisall -
Update:
Zimmerman jury is STILL deliberating.
And the media is running out of talking points. -
#38 Mharper
You need bionic body parts, my dear. Hope you are recovered soon and able to “over-do” to your heart’s content.
I told MIL that I hope to be well enough by fall to begin digging again. I missed out on prime dirt-moving time in late winter/early spring because of my back, then it got too dang hot, and now I’ve done whatever I’ve done to my hip and it’s taking FOR-EVVVVVV-ERRR to heal.
I swear, even my broken leg didn’t take this long to make progress. At least the chiro thinks we can avoid surgery. But at this rate, it will take until fall to feel markedly better. Unfortunately, the grandbaby will be here sooner than that. I’m hoping to be better enough to help Lovely out for a while. -
So it is the Hammy weekend for limericks
And I am a native Houstonian hick
My struggle with rhyme
Has been there through time
Now I say “what the flick?” -
You people snapping out those limericks like they are no problem make me sick (with envy). The above is my first one. Ever. Poetry in all its forms is one of my weakest areas.
-
A special court of inquiry will be meeting at my place tomorrow to decide Tedtam’s punishment for unleashing the limerick in this space. Bring beer.
-
I sit here and struggle through the fog
Read about barf kitty and back up dog
But when its banter I crave
Along comes Dave
He’s gone and kilt the blog -
You people snapping out those limericks like they are no problem make me sick (with envy). The above is my first one. Ever. Poetry in all its forms is one of my weakest areas.
I forget where I got the quote, and can’t find it on the innernets, but it goes something like this:
“When it comes to thievery, books are safe. Poetry especially so.” -
Instead of using gun or cannon
Or trying an underfoot bananon
You just use the power to rhyme
You can do it all the time
If all you want is to bug Shannon -
The jury holds the fate of Mr. Zimmerman
The judge was like one of Himmler’s men
For the then fate of the Jew
Z now sees anew
To prevent, the wimminzes must now act like real men -
Bring beer.
I’m with you my man. I’m not going to wait till tomorrow though.
-
Making prose and such is a gift,
It’s better when combine with wit,
When the two don’t combine,
I think what you’ll find,
Is weird looks and thoughts “What a twit!” -
Sitting on my butt is a pain,
Being unable to walk is a strain,
The sole saving grace
While stuck in one place
Is watching old westerns like “Wagon Train”. -
Ward Bond sure was hep
The Duke knew how to step
The old guys were strong
But them days is gone
Now the best we have is Johnny Depp -
Today I saw Adam-12’s officer Malloy
Portrayed as a brash young cowboy
On his way to the west,
He fell for a girl in a dress,
Now they ride together in great joy. -
There once was a drama drut
Who had a pain in her butt
She winced once again
As she said with a grin
Now my activity is kaput. -
Give me a cookie, give me a tomato
Give me a long trip to Laredo
Because I feel like a rube
When the best on the tube
Is a movie on cable called Sharknado -
I have been having creative surges, in a form of poetry to boot. I may have been replaced by a pod person.
-
I neglected to see or record that movie, Sharknado, dammit. I want that one on tape (some digital storage device) for the comedy of it all.
-
Perhaps this is the next sequel of Sharknado.
-
Zimmerman bulletin:
The jury is deliberating.
Thatisall -
BREAKING NEWS – Jurors COULD return a verdict at any moment.
-
#56 Bones
There once was a drama drut
A what?
-
poetic license
-
#63: TT once told a story that when she was in HS the name for the drama people was drama drut, drut is turd spelled backwards.
-
poetic license
I can assure you that I am not licensed for poetry.
-
Wait..what??? You have to have a license for poetry??? This is nothing more than another lame attempt by you authoritarian nutjobs to suppress artistic expression!
-
#66 Bones
I note that Boney admits he is practicing Poetry without a license. What is the fine for that?
Did everyone else know about that “drut” story? Might have been before my time (on the Couch, I mean). -
Oh, wow, the head doctor from “Emergency!” is a cowboy on “The Big Valley”! And earlier, Luke McCain’s son died on the wagon train.
This has been a show character crossover day. -
I’m very impressed that he still remembers the drut story.
Drama druts
Choir queens
Prissy prancers (our drill team)
Band fags
Snack shackers (derogatory term for the riff raff that hung out at the “Snack Shack” across from school)
We had so many fond terms for each other that were so uplifting. -
Urgent update:
The Zimmerman jury is still deliberating.
As you were. -
Stop it!!!
Or I’m going to go hang out at a cat blog. -
#72 Shannon
Here ya go. This will get you started. -
I gotta say, its not that dog
Its not a cat, its not that hog
Its a place to chat
No more than that
Eventually it turns into a cat blog. -
For all you folks that know CBR personally, I guess that you know he’s
been guttedhad surgery, nasty looking scar I’m telling you. Prayers out to him and his family. -
OK my Lil’ Sister does a lot of Estate Sales in south Alamabamy, she’s doing one today, so I stop by one here in Clear Lake on occasion. Went to one today and they’re always bitter sweet, neat to see how the folks lived and a little sad that some things are best left hidden. Anyway, two things jumped out at me, the 60’s Nutone Intercom and the 8 track tapes! I’ll not mention the 33 1/3 and 45 RPM records, they go without saying.
-
Zimmerman bulletin:
The jury is made up of six wimmins.
Thatisall -
Getting rain at The Dome.
-
Heavy rain. With thunder!
Barf Kitty showed a brief flash of interest. -
There came dark and real stormy weather,
The cat might be scared, however,
Dark was the cloud
And the thunder was loud,
But Barf Kitty simply went “Whatever.” -
#73 TT
Regarding the unlicensed Grumpy Cat pix, which may have cheered up Shannon, I have to comment that “I’d love to have my nuts back”, while funny, would never appear on the OFFICIAL Grumpy Cat website. Cuz she is a girl. 🙂 -
Regarding Zimmerman trial, I am remembering there were one or two gutless women on the OJ jury who admitted later they thought he was guilty but they afraid to vote that way.
-
No really. I did an image search for “snood for his balls” and found this.
/Granted it was like the 2000 image in the search but it is what it is. -
74 Sarge
LOL
A Dr. Seuus-style limerick.
But that doesn’t mean you are forgiven. -
Sarge generated some very cool limericks today. What forgiveness? For what?
-
It is simply an urban circus outside the Flarda courtroom where ppl wait for a Zimmerman verdict…
Two Orlando sisters, dressed in colorful African-print clothing and walking on stilts, sang “Lean on Me” with the crowd as a man strummed a banjo and people waved signs. “We’re just here for peace and love,” said stilt walker Bambi Loketo.
-
There’s a dunce of a VP named Biden
He has no gray matter it’s very fright’nin
Like a box of big rocks he’s dumb as an Ox
So sorry Mr Ox for insultin’ -
#3 Hey that’s not the one about the man from Nantucket I remember.
-
Looks like murder is off the table.
-
Zimmerman bulletin:
The jury is deliberating
Thatisall -
Time for some Perry and later some Cabernet.–Silverado is quite good.
-
This is the second “exclusive interview” Dewcrist has made with Ed Morrissey at Hot Air. Apparently somebody has given him a clue.
I don’t really care. I still want his freaking political head on a stick. -
But but but his father was a bomber pilot.
-
Nice song, great flick and the song title could also be used as a Jeopardy question.
I’ll take recent US history for $500 Alex.
Alex:The U.S. Constitution was shredded into…? -
93
I’m glad he’s got some competition in the primary.
That boy has the charisma of a mud flap. -
I like Dewcrist as a political figure as much as I like having the dry heaves for 12 hours.
-
Rounding the bend for a Satiddy night setup: 98.
-
99? 😀 Come on Iron Mary!! U can do it!
-
Wowie! #100
-
Dayaam where U been, I thought That I’d have to save the day!!
-
Thanky kindly, Mr Davey.
-
WHOOO HOOO, #102
DAM, missed it by a hair. -
I would never — well hardly ever — do my own setup and then swoop in and score on it. I used to like to do setups for “GJT” — being careful not to reveal his actual name — but I don’t think he stays up very late these days.
-
Twas the weekend thread of the limerick
As the last of the Saturday sun was a shimmerick
I struggled in vain
as these rhymes are a pain
It is all just a cheap literary gimmerick -
Limericks are traditionally five lines people. Get your act together! /cracks whip
We’re watching old movie “Blue Thunder”. Hubby’s loving it. Lots of stuff gets blown up and stuff. -
Welp, after all the gnashing of teeth, pulling of hair, barking of dawgs and screaming of women, I think daughter has pulled everything together and tomorrow we’re taking the Sea Ray out for a family spin! GOOD grief!! Daughter and son are having issues about WHO owns the boat,…..HELLO,… ole Dave owns the Dayaam thang, paid cash for it!! That said, I try my best to let the kids have it anytime they want, that is one of the reasons that I bought it. I think the problem is that the boy has taken it out more than anyone including me and daughter has only had it out once or twice….Kicks soap box aside….Tomorrow will be a GOOD day! Yup life is Good!
-
#106 TT: There I fixeded it.
-
Oh and my #107 she is a pretty thing, LQQks almost just like the Google Pix that I included. Folks that aren’t familiar with boating, it can be a pain in the posterior at the ramp because there are soo many in-DUH-vidulas there but once you get on the water you can’t NOT have fun. Just riding around is great, skiing and wakeboarding are extra.
-
#109 SuperDave
…Just riding around is great, skiing and wakeboarding are extra.
/jealous
-
Oh, man, I just had a huge surge of PITA!
Did a liberal sneak in somewhere??? -
#110 Tedtam, tell your hubby that you need to go for a boat ride,…if memory serves he has a boat,…Ski boat, I think, you said he didn’t fish, hey shame him into it! My bride does it to me all the time. 😀
That said, take care of the hip,…..sigh -
This is something I could actually see myself doing.
/insert evil laugh here -
The whistle blower in the State of Fla Attorneys office has been fired for blowing the whistle on the state for with holding evidence in the trial of the shooting of the thug Trayvon.
-
I use limerick version 4.0
-
The dew may kiss the morning grass,
The clock may kiss the hours past,
A Knight may kiss a maiden lass,
And you my friends… drink hardy!
/Yeah I found it.
I am not a poet
and I know it
but google is my friend
so I must search again
In hopes to my friends faces bring a grin 🙂 -
Not guilty
-
Zimmerman NOT GUILTY!!!!! CRAP!! I didn’t know that we still had a country!! YES!!
-
Good for Zimmerman
I pray God’s angels keep him safe cause he is gonna need protection. -
Justice has been served.
*
*
Let the riots begin. -
Justice would be Zimmerman suing the crap out of every person, agency, news agency, poverty pimp that made him go through this starting with NBC/MSNBC.
-
I take deep umbrage at the recent characterization of my particular———idiom—–as a literary gimmerick.
-
#121: I have a hard time seeing as how PMSNBC is going to try to make the claim that the malicious editing of the 911 tape was not intentional and designed to cause harm to Z. I suspect they may try to settle this one out of court, because the jury, if they are reasonable, could ding them for over $100Million. As we all know, this is not the first time that the NBC organization has been caught manipulating the evidence.
Does anybody remember the exploding GM pickup debacle? -
It appears that I have caused some umberage
With prose, my skill suffers underage
The attack on the limerick
As a cheap literary gimerick
Is all that I am able to musterage -
It’d be nice if he could also sue the DoJ for defamation, jury pool tampering, and miscellaneous & sundry civil rights violations.
-
Those jurors are in danger, also.
-
Settled in court or out of court I would like to see that whole lot of them fess up their pound of flesh to the man and his family.
-
I agree – sue the sumwisses for all they’re worth. Use that money for a bodyguard. Or three.
-
My heart goes out to Zimmerman. No matter what he has to live with the fact he took a life. Folks that is not an easy task. BTW I believe it was a good shoot.
-
#128 – bodyguards?
whaffO?………….as long as avoids the welfare office, the food stamp office, and grocery stores on the 1st & 15th he oughtta be plenty safe LMAO 🙂 -
#111 TT
Oh, man, I just had a huge surge of PITA!
Literal pain, or literary pain?
-
There is a network called NBC
who wanted to incite a melee
they edited a tape
and it was found it was fake
but Goebbels propagandists they’ll still always be -
Literal pain, or literary pain?
Cat puked in her lap
-
AND why didn’t the Rockets open up the Toyota Center for the fans to pay homage to Howard. NOOOOO they kept the proletariat outside in the heat.
-
Mr. Fish
#130
BUHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA etc etc etc 🙂 -
This is astonishing news! Hope GZ can be kept safe until he gets re-situated.
-
#136: I hope the media PMSNBC types will leave him alone and allow him to find a place to re-settle. I can easily see how they would keep him in the news in order to make it very difficult for him to establish a new life. I wonder how many people in this country realize how much bad behavior was engaged in by the White House, Libtard media, Fla prosecutors office, etc; and yet justice prevailed anyway. This is truly a great day for America.
-
Literal pain, not literary pain.
I think I did too much yesterday with MIL, since the expected sister didn’t accompany us. -
There was a defendant named George Z.
Whom the media assumed was guilty,
Because the victim was black,
They had Trayvon’s back,
It didn’t matter that the evidence was so iffy. -
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It takes two, one to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the peni-, fathe-, LADDER!
-
😀
-
How many Aggies does it take to change a light bulb?
100.
1 to hold the bulb,
99 to turn the house. -
He tried a limerick or two
Limerick weekend, its what you do
He tried and he tried
Until he almost died
But they all just sounded like poo -
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m hearing big, wet, splattering sounds outside.
I think it’s liberal heads ‘splodin’. -
My all time fave Aggie joke
An Aggie got a job at an east Texas sawmill. Just before lunch on his first day, he lost a finger. When asked how he lost it, he replied, “I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi…Damn! There goes another one!” -
I wanted to write a lim-e-rick
that wouldn’t make you-a-sick
but I found out too late
some ain’t so great
and leave you needing the heim-e-lich -
Good night, Hamsterville!
-
Now we can get back to the important news. THE ROYAL BABY!
-
If the family of Trayvon and his followers really wanted to do something to further his memory, they might consider teaching the younger folks (both black and white) about what can happen to people with an attitude, and teach them to get over that idea of being “dissed” at every turn. That level of arrogance (which incidentally starts at the White House) and pervades the “youtes” of today encourages more violence and solves nothing.
-
McCain leads drive to end blackout of NFL games, targets publically financed stadiums
In the near future the headline will read…
Mexican Mole McCain leads drive to end the NFL since soccer is the game of Mexico and after all M.M. McCain led the charge that ceded the USA to Mexico
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/07/13/mccain-leads-drive-to-end-blackout-nfl-games-targets-publically-financed/#ixzz2YzSuNX5n -
OK, I’m going to fess up here. As most of you know, I’m a self-described misogynist and admittedly have very little confidence in the female of the species ability to think and act logically and rationally most of the time. Rather, my experience and mind set tells me that they will respond to events based on how they feel, that they will react emotionally most of the time to virtually any given situation. Therefore, I was very concerned about the outcome of the Zimmerman trial despite the absolute absence of a single shred of evidence or testimony that could lead to a conviction. I watched the entire trial (I work nights and even got paid to do so) when I didn’t have anything else to do, so I think I’m reasonably well informed as to what happened in that courtroom. The prosecution had no case, the judge was disgraceful in her performance denying exculpatory evidence into the trial, and the press was pathetic as usual. An all female jury did not look good at all as far as I am concerned. So, somehow, in spite of all the odds against it, they managed to come to the right conclusion.
From that I can conclude that either (1) I’m wrong about the ability of the female mind to come to a rational decision; (2) the State’s case was so weak that even an emotionally charged “death of a teen youngster” failed to over ride some degree of logic; (3) something else happened. Something big, a mega-shift if you will, is going on in our society and I just haven’t been able to put my finger on it yet. -
How many men does it take to install a roll of toilet paper on th holder?
Nobody knows as it has never happened. -
#152 Wagonburner- You are correct in that joke. In our weekend with my in-laws last weekend when they came to help us with house repairs, tis was my MIL and I that installed all the toilet paper holders and the like in our bathrooms.
On a slightly different note, if anyone knows of anyone that is in need of renting a large room in the CS/Bryan area, we are renting out largest room upstairs for 450 a month (including utilities and facilities). We have it advertised for about a week now but I thought why not spread the word. If ya’ll know of anyone, let me know and I will send you my contact info. -
152
The holder is in a useless position. There is no point in using it until it is moved to a more functional location. -
#154 Shannon
Could you be more specific? Ya got me stumped.
Oh and good morning, Hamsterville. -
155 mharper42 says:
July 14, 2013 at 8:05 am
#154 Shannon
Could you be more specific? Ya got me stumped.
Oh and good morning, Hamsterville.It should be directly in front, at eye level when seated, and close enough so that it can be easily reached.
Women. -
So you guys want to have the toilet mounted close to and facing the wall? Bwa Haha Ha!!! Where ya gonna stand for your vaunted aiming procedures?
-
In my case, some moron mounted the holders on the wall against which the toilet tank sits.
That is a long reach and there is no way to tear off paper wth one hand.
I’ll move them when I find my round tuit. -
Here’s a suggestion, no round tuit needed. If there is enough room right beside the toilet on either side, store/stack one or two packages of 12-roll TP. Use that as a sort of table. On top of the stack, have a roll of TP out and handy. It doesn’t have to be on a roller.
-
The top of the toilet tank is a very functional, classy resting place for the roll.
Ms. Shannon’s opinion notwithstanding. -
#153 – Mrs LD – I’m presuming you have the listing on all the local TAMU bulletin boards etc
And a cautionary note – with your impending bundle of joy in mind (and in my experiences) taking on a boarder rarely works well………………..and further I’d definitely perform EXTREME background checks before allowing any outsider in a home with an infant…………particularly thinking of my long BACA membership – if You’d like – fwd me full names & DOB of any potential border and I can at least do a state registry check for Yall. And even the state registry check is only PART of the available information…………PLEASE be CAREFUL with this -
I think Ticker dude covers this pretty thoroughly – *slight* questionable lingo I’m hoping that Granny-Hammy can handle………….
The race-baiters are still at it:
“Today, justice failed Trayvon Martin and his family,” said Roslyn M. Brock, Chairman of the NAACP in a statement. “We call immediately for the Justice Department to conduct an investigation into the civil rights violations committed against Trayvon Martin. This case has re-energized the movement to end racial profiling in the United States.”
Roslyn Brock — blow me.
Now let’s see the rest of the job get done: Justice for George Zimmerman.
-
Just got back from another training session with the dogs. That Lil Bit is one smart cookie, don’t take her much learnin at all. Today we went with the trekking poles, and they weren’t any problem at all. When I first started using them with Scout he freaked about having something moving between me and him. He’d get skittish and sit down and such. Took a while for him to get used to them, I had to use one pole for a while when on the trail just to keep moving. Lil Bit had no problem with then at all, probably because by this time Scout is used to them and showed her what to do. Got ’em both walking on the left far enough away so the pole is not a problem, and I can use the pole on that side to indicate a direction for them to go.
Scout is still the lead dog, and we don’t stop and sniff unless HE want’s to stop and sniff.
Lil Bit’s pack should be in the mail tomorrow, so tomorrow night we’re donning packs for our walk. -
The roll mount needs to be easily to reach with no strain, excessive reach or rotation. If on the side it needs to be within 6″ of the plane described by the knees. There must always be at least 2 spare rolls with in easy reach from the sitting position. The roll must be mounted so that the paper comes off the front of the roll – NO EXCEPTIONS! There must be a magazine rack and ample lighting for the extended sit down. The exhaust fan must vent to the outside, a recirculator is an obnoxious waste of resources.
That is all. -
#163 Sarge
I had to use one pole for a while when on the trail just to keep moving.
Tedtam: According to Sarge, sounds like all you need is one trekking pole, whatever that is, to keep you moving.
-
Here’s something I didn’t appreciate seeing come up on Facebook:
Social Security Disability Income · Suggested Post
Get Disability Benefits
Apply for up to $2436/mo:There is something very wrong with a gubmint that ADVERTISES for handout takers this way. I’m sure the helpful clerk at the gubmint office will help you figure out how you are disabled.
-
A new approach to curing cancer? This one shows some promise.
-
I think if I hear one more reporter speak of “the child” Trayvon, I’m gonna puke. I heard Juan the scum Williams state that Z had gun in hand when he approached the child Trayvon when nothing in the evidence supports that position. It is irresponsible in the extreme and is nothing but throwing gasoline on the fires of racial tension. As I said, completely irresponsible, perhaps criminally so seeing as how the longer this line of lying goes on, the greater the danger to Z.
Perhaps the line in response should be: Why izzit that one group, which comprises 6% of the population is responsible for over 50% if the murders in this country? -
Tedtam: According to Sarge, sounds like all you need is one trekking pole, whatever that is, to keep you moving.
Actually, not a bad idea. Trekking poles can be had fairly reasonably in the Wally World sporting goods aisle. Most come with a rubber tip that can be put onto the field tip. They are adjustable for height and are easier to use than both a cane or a crutch. One I have here was given to me by Significant Other that her mother used until a walker became mandatory.
Oh wait—I have a better idea.
Lemme get you the website of the folks who are selling those super duper carbon fiber poles for $120 each. When you’re done with them, I’ll buy ’em off you. At a discount of course, cuz, you know, they’ll be used—- -
There is something very wrong with a gubmint that ADVERTISES for handout takers this way. I’m sure the helpful clerk at the gubmint office will help you figure out how you are disabled.
If you’re talking about the ones on FB, that isn’t the gummint. Those are from helpful people who will charge you money to help you fill out the paperwork and act as your “advocate”.
-
Yep, I spotted that after I posted. 😳 Scumbag jake-leg lawyers that can’t get honest work. I never saw that suggesed before today.
-
#161 Katfish
We do plan on running full background checks and all that fun jazz. If we need your assistance I will reach out. Depending on other circumstances, we are going to also have the parents or someone else co-sign the lease for credit reasons. We are planning on keeping little sunshine in our room until she can sleep through the night, for the benefit of AB and I and the new boarder. We are also installing security cameras outside and around the house before the boarder moves in, for their protection and ours.
We have not posted it all over the TAMU boards. Right now we are advertising it through the local churches (that also happen to be free) and by word of mouth. My business partner is doing the same thing with three kids (10,8, and 5) and they are spreading the word if they hear of anyone.
I will take your advice into consideration and appreciate the concern. -
Poll of the Couch:
What are the odds that Eric “the commie bastige” Holder will press civil rights violation charges against Zimmerman?
I put it at about 75% yes. -
Do I lose my mancard if I admit to be the one who puts the toilet paper on the holder? Unrolling from the top of course. I once watched a Lifetime movie too.
-
#174 con’t
Interesting plot though, strong woman, POS man, women ends up being a hero at the end. -
This whole Z trial is a miscarriage of justice, Z should have never been tried in the first place, particularly seeing as how he never went before a grand jury.
I see this as a really big storm brewing, Holder is gonna go after him now that the jury acquitted Z. The lines in the sand are clearly drawn and there is no pretense of reason or logic on the T side of the equation. Sean Hannity on Fri night had a panel ofliarslawyers and journalists and the bulk had him at not guilty. A black woman felt he was guilty of 2nd degree murder and would not be swayed by the evidence presented, ditto Juan Williams and every other black presented since. They continue to put forward the false narrative that T was profiled, that T was a child, that Z stalked him with gun in hand, etc.
I submit that Holder will not prosecute any black on white hate crimes that happen as a result of this verdict. Further, Holder will pull out all the stops to relentlessly persecute Z in the attempt to bankrupt him. The LSM will hound him like the papparazzi on Princess Dianna in order to make sure that Z has no peace and to make him a target.
This will likely result in lots of bloodshed and when the people start defending themselves, JugEars will declare martial law. I really hope that I am wrong in my assessment and that cooler head, sound reason and logic prevail; the history of this admin demonstrates otherwise. -
Good morning Hamsters. Jet lagged and digging through a mountain of laundry from our 15-day trip sailing around the Baltic Sea on a cruise ship and some extra days in Copenhagen, Denmark; spouse and I are operating on about half the usual energy and are taking frequent sit-a-spells as we (mostly moi) unpack and put back stuff.
There was lots of walking and stair climbing on excursions to museums, castles, palaces, parks, photo-ops, and just plain walking around towns visited. Have not walked that much since the western Mediterranean vacation almost two years ago, the one when we made the not to be repeated mistake of touring Rome the afternoon of the morning we arrived fully jet lagged. Not recommended to be climbing around the Colosseum and several of the hills of Rome in that condition.
This time we arrived a day early in Copenhagen and had plenty of time to mostly ditch the jet lag before getting on the ship as well as explore the town some in advance of our 3 days extra once the cruise ended. Went to Tallinn, Estonia; St. Petersburg, Russia; Helsinki, Finland; Stockholm, Sweden; Berlin and Hamburg/Kiel Germany; and back to Copenhagen. Well worth the extra time there once the airfare expense is considered.
Another load of laundry is finished. Glad to be home on the couch again. We tried to keep up with doings here but surely missed a lot. Later… -
I once watched a Lifetime movie too.
Tom you are now in grave danger of losing your man-card. Unless of course you had some buddies over and were playing a drinking game or a laugh fest at the trite cliches and predictabilities.
-
Welcome back.
-
Is there a better song than this out there?
-
For shame, for shame Ms Adee for not letting someone know you you were gonna be gone. Glad y’all are back safe and had fun. 😀
Now putting out search for OTL. -
Adee, we missed you and are glad you are back safe in Texas! (Glad you had a wonderful vacation though.)
-
Sweetie is having fun with some voice google thing called s-voice or something. She axed about the weather and it said we should hear thunder. She said is that it and it replied I suppose that is it. Anyway it ended with it saying I don’t think you can call me that. 😀
-
OTL has posted on facebook today. Simple Simon hasn’t been seen since June 1.
-
The Guf Freeway corridor is getting soaked, been raining there for some time according to the radar. There is another big chunk in Waco slowly headed south. I am hopeful that we will get a soaking this evening here in Glorious Copperfield.
-
Y’all may remember one of my first postings was on the placement of toilet paper holders in public restrooms. I can’t speak for men’s facilities, but in the women’s for some wissin’ reason the large holders are quite often placed low, at or below knee level, and it’s hard to find the end of the paper. And the stalls can be quite narrow, so getting “into position” with thing taking up so much leg room is a pain in the buttock region.
Especially now that bending down and contorting is an issue, I find these things are even more annoying than ever.
In my powder bath, the roll is on a standalone stand, and the extra rolls are on a bathroom plunger. The plunger has never been used for its manufactured purpose, so it’s sanitary. -
Handsome is taking me shopping this afternoon. Lovely has sent a shopping list, and she’s planning on being here tomorrow to pre-make dinner packages for the crock pot for this week. Handsome will take my mother’s clean clothes for me, and help me with the shopping bags after.
-
#187 crazy person
classy -
And the stalls can be quite narrow, so getting “into position” with thing taking up so much leg room is a pain in the buttock region.
Makes it easier for congressmen with a “wide stance”, though.
-
She’s talking about wimminz restrooms. No one would be trolling with his/her shoe in the next stall in a wimminz restroom.
-
#190
Unless its a City of Houston public restroom. -
Wimmins stalls are more narrow than mens? How do you know that?
-
I remember going to concerts in the Summit where wimmins would go to the mens restrooms because wimmins are so slow in their own and tend to go in packs. Then the City turned half the mens restrooms into wimmins and made our lines even longer.
-
She’s talking about wimminz restrooms. No one would be trolling with his/her shoe in the next stall in a wimminz restroom.
I have visions of She-Jack and its about to make me puke.
-
I can’t speak for men’s facilities, but in the women’s for some wissin’ reason the large holders are quite often placed low, at or below knee level, and it’s hard to find the end of the paper.
BYOP…… problem solved. You can thank me later.
-
And for absolute emergencies or precluding emergency situations some suggestions.
-
Keep a paper back book with you. Paper is paper.
I like to keep one of my favorite novellas handy
Fifty Yard Dash to the Outhouse
Written by Willy Makeit
Illustrated by Betty Dont -
Fifty Yard Dash to the Outhouse
Afterward by Andy Didnt.
-
Notice how he kept on Squawkin’ till he reached #200. Now I ask you, was that sporting? And it was all about emergency toilet papers. I need an explanation for the Wag Bag in 196.
-
mHarper
202
Just covering all angles for those that worry about being politically correct while taking care of bidness. -
That is just one example of the kinder gentler me. I am just trying to take into consideration EVERYONE’s feeeelings, needs and desires. Here I will let Rodney speak for me. Especially for the older people yanno.
-
Heh. The better trio from Canada.
-
I dunno Brother Phil there is an another “rush” band from Canada that goes overlooked that I am kinda partial to.
-
I liked these guys after they got rid of burtin cummings
-
#208 Bro Squawk
Not bad–Kind of Robin Trowerish. -
Wimmins stalls are more narrow than mens? How do you know that?
she’s a hussy.
-
Dang. Something Squawk and me agree on musically. The Other Rush.
Kind of Robin Trowerish.
Who was kind of Jimi Hendrixish.
-
Hammie
212Dang. Something Squawk and me agree on musically. The Other Rush.
🙂
-
Same name
Different Bands
Different Lyrics -
The ONLY thing good about it not being college football season is that I have a seven month break from Brent Mussburger. Dang if Nissan hasn’t ruined it for me.
-
Just sent this to Aggie Beau. I thought he could use it when he’s working budgeting resources for those big jobs he works on.
-
I just found out my favorite priest is in town. Lovely and I are meeting him for coffee at 8:30 in the morning. /happy dance (in my head only)
This is the priest who drove all the way from the New York area just to marry my daughter to Aggie Beau. If others in our church find out he’s here, the restaurant will be MOBBED by his fan club! -
Referencing racial profiling: All the time we hear how horrible racial profiling is, to that I say BS. Blacks comprise 13.1% of the population in the USA. 1/2 of this number is right around 6.5% of the total population. Blacks commit more than 1/2 the murders in the USA, the overwhelming majority of murders, regardless of race, are committed by males. When over half of the murders are committed by a segment of the population that represents only 6.5% of the total and you do not profile this group you have your head in the sand. Whose fault is it that 6.5% of the population commits over half of the murders? Whose culture is obviously defective and who is responsible for correcting that defect?
The hateful finger of racism has been pointed at whites for far too long. 40 years of affirmative action and minority set asides to atone for the past is more than enough. -
Great news – Zimmerman’s legal team has media in their sights.
Sue ’em into oblivion. -
Lots of clouds and thunder, but no rain yet!
-
#219: The NBC fambily of “news” needs to get dinged for (insert Dr. Evil voice here) ONE BILLION DOLLARS. The Ford Pinto, GMC pickups, the Z case, this is a pattern of behavior with this organization and it is time to take them down. ZBC has a nice ring to it.
-
212 Hamous
Stevie Ray and Trower. -
getting some rain here in Glorious Copperfield. THANK YOU ABBA!
-
By attacking the media and portraying them for the manipulative sonsawisses that they are, do you think this might affect the DOJ/Administration’s attempt to investigate Zimmerman? If their minions are under attack, how can they defend the minions without drawing attention to the fact that there wasn’t racism involved.
Brilliant tactic, absolutely brilliant. -
Rain bypasses us again. Came close and was rumbly and dark, but nothing. Clearing now. Rats. Neighbors tell us not a drop fell here while we were gone, and the pastures sure show it. Better chance is forecast for tomorrow, but that’s no help unless some falls here.
-
we just finished with about 30-45 mins of good rain. Hopefully we will getsmore tomorrow.
-
#224 crazy person
The FBI investigated thoroughly several months ago and determined there were no civil rights violations. Seems a good defense might be that civil rights violations don’t mysteriously appear from nowhere. -
The hateful finger of racism has been pointed at whites for far too long. 40 years of affirmative action and minority set asides to atone for the past is more than enough.
The cry of racism is most certainly used too frequently and incites hatred where it shouldn’t exist. It’s one of the “progressives” favorite tools. But racism still exists, and it’s not hard to find. I left a facebook group today because this picture was posted and too many folks thought it was funny. I see no difference in this and the vulgar pictures Bobo used to post disparaging Catholics.
-
Hammy, begging to differ with you (just a bit) but I think the Zimmerman trial and the threats of rioting have stirred up both sides. I can see whites on the internet liking the KKK watermelon patch as HUMOR even if they do not in fact disparage the black race.
-
Dogstar59 wrote:
I am getting sick and tired of the media claims that George Zimmerman could face civil action. he is immune to it, per florida law and the verdict.What say you, Hammy? Is there anything in Flarda laws that would forestall a civil suit against GZ?
-
Florida, maybe.
Feds are in the pocket of mocha jesus and his b!tch Stedman. -
I can see whites on the internet liking the KKK watermelon patch as HUMOR even if they do not in fact disparage the black race.
I don’t. That pick connects one of the darkest parts of our history with a worn-out stereotype. It ain’t funny.
Is there anything in Flarda laws that would forestall a civil suit against GZ?
There is a section of the “stand your ground” law that may grant immunity in a civil trial based on his aquittal in the criminal case. They can still sue but my understanding is the Martins would then have to pay Z’s legal expenses if immunity is granted.
-
My favorite quote of the day comes from one of the PJ Media folks and goes something like…those six ladies had more cajones facing down public opinion than Chief Justice Roberts.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.