Awright, wimmins! Lissen up!
I’m bringing you some info to help you in the relationship department, if you get my drift.
Men are simple creatures. We have simple needs. You don’t need to do anything elaborate to win us and keep us.
Here is a list of 25 little things to keep us content.
I’ll just show some of the pictures. See if you can guess what the plan from each is…
This one’s the best. 😉
Monday Takin’ Care Of Your Man
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Oh…..it all makes sense now. I thought I was being helpful when I pointed out her cheeks were showing.
I hate sleeping on the couch. -
Wonder if I could hold two beers instead…
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Good morning Hamsters. Clear and 50, lovely Moon working her way to bed, increased humidity at last but not too much, winds to come vigorously from the south today and switch to north tomorrow, equally vigorous. It’s March, the month of rapid weather changes. Batten down. But we will briefly make the upper 70s today before the rollercoaster heads down again.
As for the suggestions above, it would seem the less expensive ones might be best given the state of household budgets and the much-declined economy since the list was made in 2011. -
As far as reposting/poaching the barber, wooden ball joke goes; well just friggen shoot me! It is a darned good joke and I have told it many times with great results :>)
I just could not remember where I saw it first. -
If you’re a gambler, here ya’ go! The Papal Prediction site.
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*THUD* – Happy Monday Hamoustonians™ !
Another fantastic BACA State meeting is in the books – awesome hill country weather (albeit a bit frosty) and seeing all our Sisters & Brothers makes for incredible memories! -
Most days, the best I can do to please my man is to just have dinner ready for him to eat before he falls asleep in front of the TV. He seems to appreciate that.
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#6 Katfish
Sounds like you had an awesome weekend! That’s fantastic! -
#4 Boney
It WAS a good joke, wasn’t it? And one of the “cleaner of the dirty jokes” that we can tell, too. -
Four year old survives 3 story fall.
My younger sister fell out of our two story window during “nap time.” She landed on the brick walk below. Mom had no idea that this had happened until she saw her outside of the back patio door, holding the finger that got hurt. She was very lucky that she got the scratch on her finger, and no more. -
#11 TT: So that OJugEars can have a civilian force just as powerful and just as well equipped as the US Military, in order to better subjugate we peons out here in flyover country.
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Dennis Rodman tries to play matchmaker between Kim Jong Un and Bronco.
♪♫ ♪♫ Ronery, I’m Mistah Ronery… ♪♫ ♪♫ -
These are some really interesting times in which we live:
HEADLINE: With Passover Approaching, a Plague of Locusts Descends Upon Egypt
As if we hadn’t already seen enough Biblical events this year, a plague of over 30 million locusts swarmed over Egypt’s cities and farms just three weeks before Passover begins. But put your apocalyptic fears to rest. This happens every year as part of the locusts’ natural migration pattern, though this year’s swarm is especially large. That doesn’t mean Egyptians aren’t freaked the heck out by millions of nasty bugs buzzing through the air at all hours of day and night, possibly descending upon the agriculture fields where they’re known to destroy entire crops, just like in the actual Passover story -
Now that Sequestrageddon has happened, have any of you people seen the Dire Consequences yet?
No airplanes falling out of the sky?
No highway bridges spontaneously turning into dust?
No death squads roaming the streets killing puppies?
No airplanes falling out of the sky onto highway bridges and killing puppies under them? -
#15 WB
I haven’t experienced any of those, but I still have this persistent pain in my (insert crude reference to my buttocks region here). I figger it’ll go away when we get a real conservative as president. -
#15: I have seen some homeless zombies begging for brains (or cash for beer).
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#16 & 17
To be fair, I’m pretty sure both of those were there before Sequestrageddon. -
I actually looked at the list of surprises, and here is my observation. Someone needs to tell Miss Manners or whoever the author is that men generally do not like surprises.
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EG –
And I’m thinkin’ men don’t want women tagging along on a golf date, either. -
Real men want good food and good sex. Plenty of both and not necessarily in that order and beer.
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Feminazi poster child proves to be a farce.. !st female to try-out as an NFL kicker is out after 2 kicks TOTALING 36 yards?!? Why the wiss was she there in the first place, and why in the big friggen wiss did she think she could compete with a torn quad muscle against healthy men? Note to feminazis: Men are stronger and can kick and throw further, run faster and jump higher; they can lift more weight and generally make better warriors, just get over it for crying out loud.
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I don’t whether to be sad or angry over this story of a kid dying after bullies jumped him at school.
I think of how alone and helpless he must have felt, and not just in those last few moments. To live in desperate fear is a desolate way to live. My heart breaks for him and his family.
I guess I’ll be angry later. Right now, I just want to get through the sorrow of a young life lost for no reason other than two other guys don’t have the self-esteem they need to get through life without making someone else feel small. -
G’Morning All
‘Saturday Night Live’ Wakes Up, Mocks President Obama
“Saturday Night Live” finally realized President Obama may not have a firm grip on the economy, uses human props with alacrity during last night’s biting opening sketch. -
Homeland Security warned that budget cuts will reduce the effectiveness of border control.
Does that mean:
A. Fewer illegal aliens
B. Decrease in the number of voters registered per linear mile of border. -
Re: Bullies story. I read the story, and it appeared to me that the poor child died of pneumonia, not as a result of a beating or anything. If you are concerned about bullying, just note that it starts at the top – the biggest bully in the country is our President. This bully business is just another political stunt being pulled by the politicos with the willing accomplices of the media assisting to further limit our freedoms. Soon it will be against the law to disagree with a liberal as it will be considered bullying. Just like the statistics about people who die from the flu, the statistics are manipulated – people die all the time from all kinds of stuff, some of them also have the flu when they die, but the flu may or may not be the cause of death. Don’t fall for all these emotional appeals to pass bad law, especially when the sources of information are dubious at best.
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#24 TT: The miscreants who perpetrated such a shameful act need to spend some time in jail, with people who really know how to be abusive, perhaps then they will change their ways.
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#25 OTL: When a D becomes a target for SNL, the bloom is off the rose. Mayhaps the LSM will actually grow a spine and a pair and behave accordingly . . . .
waiting. . . .
not holding breath -
The kid may not have died directly from the attack.
He suffered seizures. He had a concussion. They may not be related.
But the behavior, the fear, the terror – it was still there.
And it’s inexcusable. -
#25 OTL
SNL’s Jay Pharaoh sure has Bronco’s peculiar speech cadence down pat. At the beginning of the video, I thought he was lip synching to actual POTUS remarks. -
Ugly baby?
A rebellion ensued. Most school boards in Texas have gone on record against high-stakes testing. Rick Perry’s last education chief compared high-stakes testing to a vampire, and not the sparkly kind in the teen movies. A group of upper-middle class moms in Austin started a group that politicians started calling Moms Against Drunk Testing, and now you can’t find a politician in Austin willing to defend the State of Texas Assessments of Academic Readiness (or STAAR test) that they all voted for in 2009. Even Gov. Rick Perry, who strong-armed the legislature into mandating the new test everyone hates, recently said he’s willing to dial down the high stakes on standardized testing.
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Link for my #32
http://www.cagle.com/2013/03/scary-texas-moms/#.UTTj1Yl5nTo -
The Martians are DOOMED
Headline: Newly Discovered Comet May Hit Mars: Watch for Two Others Near Earth
h/t: Drudge
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Is there no end to the meddling that Moba?
Now, it’s dogs. -
I just want the entire JugEars family (relatives, media cohorts, fellow travelers and political sucker uppers) to simply GO THE WISS AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE!
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Pretty sure that reasonable quality dog food is balanced already. Our “dog” eats however much she wants and is roughly the correct weight.
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#34 bone
comments:Is this due to Climate Change?
Dick Turpin • an hour ago
Will the sequester mean that this comet will end operations a month early?interestedobserver2 Dick Turpin • 7 minutes ago
No, but it has to take one unpaid day off a week.Michael Hansen • 21 minutes ago
Is this an assault comet?Rick Shelton Michael Hansen • 17 minutes ago
It’s a semi-automatic comet. -
Carney sez there’s “no set price” for a meeting with Bronco.
If you’re a Hollywood type, you can prolly get in for a few thousand. If you’re one of the great unwashed, the price would be much, much higher. -
#37 Pyro
Our “dog” eats
What kind of pet do you have?
🙂 -
A “dog”.
It looks like an actual dog that got thrown into the dryer on high for too long. -
We have seen some weird, wonderful and disturbing vidiots here on the couch. There have been challenges and challenges met to out weird the weird, out strange the strange. Why we have entered into the disgusting (can you say FAT GUY SPEEDOS)
But I have yet to really enter into the areas of Really Disturbing
TILL NOW
C’MON HAMMIE AND BUNSONBURNER top that. 🙂 -
#42 – ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(while backing S L O W L Y into the corner 🙂 ) -
And a little something for our “crazy” cat ladies out there. You too can map your kitty.
Might take a moment to load. Pray for patience. -
katfish
Me too. Definitely one of the them train wreck things. Too hard to turn away. -
Mars trip to use astronaut poo as radiation shield
NASA is toast -
Hmmmm I either kilt duh blog or everyone is trying to answer my challenge. Really y’all I ain’t trying to start nuttin. I have reformed. I have nothing but love for my fellow (and lady) bloggers. Nope no more arguments from me. I have seen the light.
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#42: Was that a giant clam during mating season or sumptin?
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A tew bluebonnets popped up over the weekend in Washington County.
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#46: from your linkie:
Not all bags need be equally unpleasant, though. The Water Walls concept also includes bags that scrub carbon dioxide from air, regulate temperature and grow algae for food – although NASA hasn’t yet taken those to space.
Mebbe they could use the poo as fertilizer for the algae that they are then gonna eat – YUM YUM!
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Bonez
EEEEWWWWW -
Beware of over blogging:
Philitas of Cos, Greek intellectual, is said by Athenaeus to have studied arguments and erroneous word usage so intensely that he wasted away and starved to death. British classicist Alan Cameron speculates that Philitas died from a wasting disease which his contemporaries joked was caused by his pedantry. -
42.
Tchaikovsky.
How appropriate. -
Charles II of Navarre, after having been wrapped in bandages soaked in brandy in an attempt to cure an illness, was burned alive when a servant accidentally set the bandages on fire.
Dang servants -
London Beer Flood, seven people were killed (some drowned, some died from injuries, and one succumbed to alcohol poisoning) when 323,000 imperial gallons (388,000 US gal; 1,468,000 L) of beer in the Meux and Company Brewery burst out of its vats and gushed into the streets
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#51: Kinda gives a whole new dimension to the phrase ‘this food tastes like crap’ doesn’t it?
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Hey Bunsonburner
Remember that embarassing incident in that hotel that you just hoped never got discovered. Seems there is a vidiot of it floating around the net. -
OK I just stumbled in and saw a few videos. So here we have the difference between Dawgs and Cats.
😀 -
#57
Now THAT is a true ROFLMAO! -
I had an interesting interaction this afternoon. We have a small apartment for rent, we show it to various persons, some of which I want to rent to others we’d have to rent to merely to avoid being sued for discrimination. I mean, really. Anywway, a lady pops up with half the security deposit, Hubby says to take it off the market, and we start turning people away. For a whole week, we turn people down who are interested in the unit. I have a heck of a time getting with the woman who wants to rent for her sister, who’s in the Navy and should be home soon.
I go this afternoon to sign the lease and collect the rent. She’s having a bad day at her pet shop. Customers keep waltzing in and she can’t find her keys. She can’t get her sister on the phone, but says we can go ahead and start the lease. While she’s running around trying to find her keys, I fill out the lease, including the rent amounts. She gets a phone call from her sister, who informs her that her ship has been delayed two weeks before arriving into port. When she finally gets a moment I show her the lease, she shows consternation over the dollar amounts. “Why am I paying so much for this month?” she asked.
“You are taking possession of the unit.”
“But my sister won’t be here for two more weeks!”
“Yes, but we are taking the unit off the market because you said you wanted the unit and gave us part of the deposit.”
“But I can’t afford to pay for two weeks rent when we can’t even use it!”
“You are asking us to lose two more weeks’ rent for something that might happen in two weeks!”
“But you don’t understand! I can’t afford to pay for something I can’t use! I’m a single mom with two kids!”
“I totally understand why you don’t want to pay. But you are asking us to lose two weeks of income. I can’t do that. Call me in two weeks, and if the unit is available, I’ll have no problem renting to you.”
“You’re willing to forego $400 and give up renting the unit?”
“You’re asking us to lose two weeks of rent. We’ve been turning away people all week who were interested. I’ll give your money back and see what happens in two weeks.”
“When can I get my money?”
That last one ticked me off. She’s been playing tag with me for a week, and I’ve been having to work with her schedule, which is as busy as mine.
I like the lady, but now I don’t really care if I rent to her or not. She says she managed apartments before. Perhaps that’s why she’s in the pet business now. -
Being a landlord would be about my last resort as an investment. But thankful that there are those who can do it. I know there are lots of people who will probably never own their own home, but they do need a place to rent.
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Bunsonburner
#62
Yabbut mine is totally purposeful and did you happen to notice the pride with which I strut muh stuff? 🙂 -
NASA photo of Venus seen through the rings of Saturn!
http://www.scienceworldreport.com/articles/5356/20130304/cassini-captures-venus-through-saturn-rings.htm -
Shannon #32;
That’s great news. Schools need to focus on good teaching, not good testing.
LoL – Mothers Against Drunk Testing. 😆 -
My gas gas been bad. It’s either the onions I ate or sequestration.
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squawkbox vid #42:
Yup, that’s weird.
squawkbox vid #57;
Too funny. I’ll check that in my memory box of what not to do. I’m one who would not be able to reach down far enough to proivde “proper” coverage” both front and back. 😯
super dave vid #58;
Very funny. -
When Niki’s um, monthly mood swing kicks in it sure does kick in. Tonight’s family night turned into a cuss session. We’ll try again tomorrow. after I think I came up wth some solutions to some squabbling problems. Basically the older two got in an agument (Janisen’s so much like her mother) and Niki’s solution was, well, less than productive. We need the Spirit of God more in our home.
Family rules!!!
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