In what could be considered a perfect storm of sorts, the State of the Union Speech will be delivered tonight, just as Mardi Gras parties are reaching full bacchanalia state.
What better environment to drink your way through a speech that someone who has been asleep for the past 5 years could predict?
Mr. Speaker, blah blah blah…
The State of the Union is strong. blah blah blah…
Control gun violence on our streets. blah blah blah…
Invest in our children’s futures. blah blah blah…
Invest in our infrastructure. blah blah blah…
We need to create more jobs. blah blah blah…
Pay their fair share. blah blah blah…
Here’s the beginnings of a drinking game. “Drink” can mean anything from a sip of beer/wine to downing a shot of tequila, whatever you believe your liver can take*; it’s likely to be a long speech, so pace yourself.
Drink when you hear the following words:
Children
Job(s)
Invest
Fair share
Freedom
Iraq
Afghanistan
Victory
Election (+2)
Security
Social security (+1)
Iran
Axis of evil (finish current drink or +5)
North Korea (+4)
Tsunami (+2)
Relief effort
South Asia (+3)
Weapons of mass destruction (+2)
Nuclear weapons (+2)
An alternative would be this:
Mr. Speaker (drink everything you can find)
Laissez les bons temps rouler!!!
* we here at Hambone in no way condone drinking to excess. You are (theoretically) adults. As Clint said in The Outlaw Josey Wales, “A man’s got to know his limitations.