Talk Like A Pirate Open Comments

It be everyone’s favorite “holiday”! The only other even close be Groundhog Day.
It be the tenth annual International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

So Jib the mizzen! Spin the spinnaker! Hoist the Jolly Roger!

Here be some history of Jolly Roger and stories about several cousins of the widely-known symbol of pirates everywhere.
So get with the program or I’ll have ye walkin’ the plank.

Ye had best get yerself a good pirate name and tale, or there’ll be some sharks feastin’ on yer carcass.
I be Harpoon Harry The Horrible.

You enjoy ravishing young maidens so much that the Pirate Society gave you a Merit Badge. Unfortunately it also means you’ve been banned from most of the local convents, soda shops, whorehouses, and pre-schools. Arrrr, no one ever said the Pirate Life was easy!

Sounds pretty accurate…
PS – Know any good bad jokes of, about, or otherwise pertaining to pirates?
I’ll start:
Q: What does a pirate dog say?
A: Arrrrrrrrrrf!
Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite vegetable?
A: Arrrrrrrrrrrtichokes.


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  1. El Gordo Avatar

    Well, let’s get to cracking. Oh I forgot, we all live in Obamaville now, and since none of the good soaps come on until after noon, we have no need to get up early. Just hand me that Lone Star card so I can get some pop tarts for the kids and a couple of six packs to get me through the day. If my buddies come over we might do a little scrapping tonight and then head to the T-bar for some refreshments. Sounds like a plan to me.

  2. Hamous Avatar

    Why couldn’t the ten year old go see the latest Pirate movie?
    Because it was rated Arrrrrrrrrr.

  3. Super Dave Avatar
    Super Dave

    Don’t forget to get your Pirate Name if you haven’t already
    I be “Bloody Davy Roberts, Arrrrrg.
    Mornin’ Gang

  4. shamaal Avatar
    shamaal

    Arghhhh
    I just dropped mrs shamaal off at the local papist sickbay. The croaker’s going to refit her port peg with a titanium knee.
    Oh, The wonders of the modern age

  5. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    Mmm, mmm, mmm.

  6. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    Me better half might be a bit miffed if’n I just dropped her off to the carver, but you see matey, she’s taken a kinda liken’ to me.

  7. wagonburner Avatar
    wagonburner

    #5 bdr
    What’s your tale?

  8. Hamous Avatar

    Maureen Dowd (whose pirate name is “Red on the Noodle like a pecker on a poodle”) is fired up over RMoney’s recently revealed comments regarding the 47% of people who will not under any circumstance vote for him. One of the other things she and the rest of the Reds are upset about is this:

    At another point in the video, Romney once more showed his foreign policy jejuneness, questioning the workability of a two-state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian dispute, which is U.S. policy endorsed by W.
    Mr. Sunshine said he sometimes felt “that the Palestinians have no interest whatsoever in establishing peace — and that the pathway to peace is almost unthinkable to accomplish.”

    No one believes the “Palestinians” want a two state solution. No one. If they say they believe that they’re lying through their teeth. And the “Palestinians” have no interest in establishing peace with Israel. The Israelis have wasted too much time trying to negotiate with terrorists. They need to unilaterally announce a peace agreement. The borders of Israel will now be drawn permanently at the post-1967 war lines. All “Palestinians” in the Gaza strip are now moving to Egypt because they have proved themselves unable to live among civilized society. When the first round of missiles comes in from Egypt the Israelis re-annex the Sinai peninsula.
    Similarly, all “Palestinians” in the West Bank are now moving to Jordan (it’s their real homeland anyway). Temple Mount will now be under control of the Israelis. It will no longer be “the nth holiest site in Islam”. When the first round of missiles come in from Syria, Lebanon, and/or Jordan, the Al-Aqsa Mosque will be dismantled and placed across the border in Jordan with a note saying “You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here”.
    Golan Heights, Syria? You’re joking, right? And Lebanon? The south is looking pretty good about now. Fire one more rocket. Please.

  9. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    Arrrrrrrrrrr ye all mad, mateys?
    – Iron Mary Cash

  10. wagonburner Avatar
    wagonburner

    French Magazine Charlie Hebdo (“Weekly Charlie”) set to anger the seething “Arab Street”.

    “You must not mock us.”

  11. wagonburner Avatar
    wagonburner

    China girding its loins for a financial attack on Japan.

  12. Tedtam Avatar

    I be “Misty the Magnificent”:

    Because you’re a pirate through and through, you wear ‘Arrrrgyle’ socks, your favorite food is ‘Arrrrrtichokes’, and your favorite actress is ‘Arrrrrrty Shaw’. Your favorite subject in school was ‘Arrrrrrrrt’, and if you had to pick another job, it would be an ‘Arrrrrrchitect’.

    Yes, well, I may not be the most fearsome pirate on the seas, but you should see my parrot!

  13. Tedtam Avatar

    Well, here’s another selectively edited video. Of course, this one IS actually “selectively edited” and passed off as the complete, unedited version.

    What do we know?…
    7. That somewhere around two minutes of the video is missing, and that in the wildest of wild coincidences, the missing minutes just happen to occur around the portion of the video the media is claiming is the most damaging to Romney — the portion about the 47%.
    /snip
    10. That as of this writing “Mother Jones” still hasn’t released or detailed what is missing from their still selectively edited video – you know, the missing portion that by some wild coincidence occurs during the portion of the video David Corn, “Mother Jones,” and the ObamaMedia says is the most damaging.
    To be frank, I don’t believe David Corn or “Mother Jones.” I think the missing minutes are mitigating and might even show Romney in a good light; might even show him clarifying his remarks. There’s a reason Corn and “Mother Jones” tried to get away with passing off the edited video as unedited, and this is the only reason that makes any sense.

    Yeah, I don’t believe them, either. I’d love to know what was in those two missing minutes. Romney wants to hear it, too.

  14. Adee Avatar
    Adee

    Good morning Hamsters. Arrrrgh, too early to pass the grog around. Orange juice will have to do–can’t have scurvy you know. Spoils the fun. Heave to, heave ho, land ho–or whatever. Hand over the sextant, extend the spyglass, get out the sea charts, and if this is Wednesday we must be… lost 🙂 Thus reads the ship’s log of the Obama administration. It’s an Edsel.
    #10 Hamous
    Double and redouble.

  15. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    Oh, no.
    Not you, too, Adee.
    Arrrgh!

  16. Adee Avatar
    Adee

    Back in the real world, the cool front seems to be arriving this morning instead of last night, but it is welcome anyway. Bring it on.
    Our Lucerne (Lucy) was declared a total loss, and State Farm yesterday issued a check for her NADA clean retail value. Now we’ll have to think about filling the empty space in the garage. Gratefully this is in no way comparable to an empty stall in the barn.

  17. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    #16 TT
    Yo lassie, methinks ye were Cap’n Bess last year…

  18. Adee Avatar
    Adee

    #20 Shannon
    Umm, you don’t think the log entry for Obama’s Edsel-class pirate ship was wacky enough to reflect reality? I’m depressed. 🙁

  19. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    I just didn’t see you going all pirate on me.

  20. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    #21 Adee

    Gratefully this is in no way comparable to an empty stall in the barn.

    Well, I must report that as I read this – “Our Lucerne (Lucy) was declared a total loss…” – I was thinking, sounds like a cow, and was feeling quite alarmed for a split second till I realized it was your damaged car. Whew.

  21. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    #24 Shannon

    I just didn’t see you going all pirate on me.

    So… I decided to request a pirate ID for Shannon. I honestly provided all the info just as I think Shannon himself would have:
    Color for pirate costume: Gray.
    Pirate charactersistics: Plunders Hapless Ships, Drinks Grog, Steals Booty, Has Peg Leg, Has A Hook For a Hand, Gouges Out Eyes
    Personal Characteristics: Vicious, Ornery, Neat Freak, Wears Pantaloons
    Result (ta da)!!!
    You Are:
    Calico Jack McGurk
    Aye, you love making landlubbers walk the plank, it’s better than plundering or hacking off heads. Why, you’re so brutal and vicious, even your pegleg is capped with a hook. It makes you look fearsome but gives you a lot of trouble when walking across shag carpets.

  22. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    I only take booty freely offered.

  23. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    Vicious? Ornery?
    Hey, I’m the sweetest guy here.

  24. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    But I am running a patience deficit in my old age.

  25. Hamous Avatar

    The shuttle flew over our building about 45 minutes ago. They’re flying low!

  26. OletimerLin Avatar
    OletimerLin

    Arrrgghhhhh All
    Here’s me pic of as I set out to meet the day.
    Out to scuttle some butt and run ’em through, I am.

    Iron Tom Vane
    A pirate’s life isn’t easy; it takes a tough person. That’s okay with you, though, since you a tough person. You tend to blend into the background occasionally, but that’s okay, because it’s much easier to sneak up on people and disembowel them that way. Arr!

  27. OletimerLin Avatar
    OletimerLin

    True Friendship.
    Do you have a friend you would do this for, or do you have a friend that would do it for you?
    https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/408452_4181742816384_1720230443_n.jpg

  28. Katfish Avatar

    #s 28 & 29 – KO BPH OFF 🙂

  29. Super Dave Avatar
    Super Dave

    #9 wagonburner

    Every pirate lives for something different. For some, it’s the open sea. For others (the masochists), it’s the food. For you, it’s definitely the fighting. Two things complete your pirate persona: style and swagger. Maybe a little too much swagger sometimes — but who really cares? Arr!

  30. Super Dave Avatar
    Super Dave

    #19 Adee 😀

  31. Super Dave Avatar
    Super Dave

    #32 OletimerLin, that is too cute!! 😉

  32. Sarge Avatar
    Sarge

    Pirate Pete The Hideous
    Aye, you love making landlubbers walk the plank, it’s better than plundering or hacking off heads. Why, you’re so brutal and vicious, even your pegleg is capped with a hook. It makes you look fearsome but gives you a lot of trouble when walking across shag carpets.

  33. Super Dave Avatar
    Super Dave

    Well daughter took the test.

    Captain Jenny Read
    Even though there’s no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you’re the one in charge. Even through many pirates have a reputation for not being the brightest souls on earth, you defy the sterotypes. You’ve got taste and education. Arr!

  34. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    BLAST EM ALL TO HELL! Bonecrusher is me name pirate day or not! I likes to crush the bones in the sword hand of me enemies and when/if the worthless thing heals it stays worthless, like its owner. Arrrrrggghhh it looks funny too. When the scurvy dogs really wiss me off I like ta crush the bones o their feet and watch em flop around on the deck like fishes out o water.

  35. Katfish Avatar

    Yall ALL need a second / extra job ah swear!

  36. Super Dave Avatar
    Super Dave

    #40 KatFish, Hey I’m on my lunch break. Speaking of which, time to go back to work!

  37. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    Whiskerfish: Arrrrggghhh, what’s the verdict on yer steel steed, Gracie? Are the doctors a gonna hafta put a bullet in ‘er block or can she be fixed?

  38. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    #27 Shannon

    I only take booty freely offered.

    Aaaarrrggghh, methinks Ole Iron Mary prolly had sumat differnt in mind, laddie. Pirate treasure booty, ifn ye take me drift.

  39. Adee Avatar
    Adee

    #26 mharper42 😉 Gotta watch those shag carpets for sure, dangerous they are.
    #33 Katfish is choking. #40 Katfish has recovered, yea.

  40. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    #32 OTL
    NO, I do not.

  41. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    #37 Sarge
    Does Pete the Hideous wear pantaloons? I see he also has trouble with shag carpets.

  42. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    Pirate treasure booty

    Iron Mary, bless yer barnacled backside, there’s a pirate treasure booty that walks and talks and scratches and screams like a panther, and then there’s the kind that ya use ta rent the first ones.

  43. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    Ok, it’s Katfishy’s turn to get a pirate ID:
    Color for pirate costume: Black
    Pirate charactersistics: Drinks Grog, Owns a Parrot, Hoists the Mizzenmast
    Personal Characteristics: Likes Accordian Music, Likes Pirate Porn
    You Are:
    Cedar Teeth
    Arrrr, you were born to sail the high seas and fly the Jolly Roger. Unfortunately you don’t have a ship, crew, cannons, or even a parrot, so you sit in the bathtub and wash your beard over and over whilst screaming “Surrender or die, surrender or die!”
    /Wha?

  44. Katfish Avatar

    #48 –

    so you sit in the bathtub

    ONLY if the maid shows up to scrub it down first! 🙂

  45. Katfish Avatar

    okok – this is MUCH closer to reality

    Aye, you love making landlubbers walk the plank, it’s better than plundering or hacking off heads. Why, you’re so brutal and vicious, even your pegleg is capped with a hook. It makes you look fearsome but gives you a lot of trouble when walking across shag carpets.

    You Are: The Magnificent Nose
    (formerly known as Katfish)

  46. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    Hhmmm, that pirate tale with the shag rug keeps coming up for all the Guy Pirates on the Couch…

  47. Tedtam Avatar

    Tonight I start my new class year. A new set of empty heads, waiting to be filled.
    I’m polishing up my chains and rubbing oil into my whips.
    heh heh heh heh heh heh

  48. TexMo Avatar
    TexMo

    Ahoy mates! I found intelligent life at that office full of land lubbers in Ft. Bend County namely the Elections Clerk Office. They sent another FPCA notification yesterday along with an electronic ballot. A nice lady down there has removed the notifications and instructed me to destroy the ballot which I will happily do. Now if I were a lib, I’d be smellin’ me a money makin’ opportunity here. 🙂

  49. Tedtam Avatar

    Arrggh, those who be not eligible to vote are showing up in the Yankee state of Michigan. Th’ president ‘n his crew be tryin’ to keep th’ Michigan Secretary ‘o State from purgin’ non-citizens from th’ votin’ rolls.
    Scalawags! They be barnacles upon the ship of state!

  50. Tedtam Avatar

    ‘n if ye want to speak like a scurvy pirate but need some help, ye can be off here.

  51. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    Scalawags! They be barnacles upon the ship of state!

    Aye, there lassie, they be a needin a keel haulin.

  52. wagonburner Avatar
    wagonburner

    More publications around the world need to follow this French magazine’s lead.

  53. wagonburner Avatar
    wagonburner

    Q: How much is corn at the pirate grocery?
    A: A buck an ear

  54. Adee Avatar
    Adee

    #58 Wagonburner
    Groan.

  55. Hamous Avatar

    A few centuries from now, apparently we’re all going to look like Brazilians. That’s cool.

  56. wagonburner Avatar
    wagonburner

    C’mon, it’s a squeaky clean one. You could tell it to the little heathens in your RE class tonight.

  57. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    #57 Pyro: From the comments in yer link:

    Some may think the French were stupid. However, maybe it was a planned event between the French News Media under direction of the French Government to draw out potentially violent Muslim protestor into the streets and then the French Government could use thus billion pixel cameras to photograph them. Seems like a really good way to find out who you need to start watching.

    I think they are stopping a little short there, they should cluster bomb the protest, they need to wait until there are several hundred present first.

  58. Hamous Avatar

    Wow! I sure didn’t see this coming.
    /cough cough

  59. Hamous Avatar

    Young’s problem was “he was just very young … and allowing these people to have too much control over his life and his name,” Dolezal said.

    Yeah. That and he’s as smart as a box of rocks.

  60. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    #64: I heard a figure on the radio this am, $7000 per day after taxes, not counting endorsements, is how much he had to spend or get embezzled in order for him to be in this shape.

  61. wagonburner Avatar
    wagonburner

    Q: Why do pirates always bury their treasure 18 inches below the ground?
    A: Because booty is only shin deep.

  62. Tedtam Avatar

    #67 WB
    Now, I like that one!

  63. Tedtam Avatar

    Wow. I just found out that one of my nieces was involved in a car/motorcycle accident last Friday. She’s “remarkably unhurt,” as my sister says, but the motorcycle rider didn’t survive. From what I’ve been told, there were no tickets issued, and all indications are that this was just a horrible accident and no blame has been assigned. My niece is, understandably, having a hard time dealing with this. I cannot even imagine. She’s extremely smart and very mature, so this isn’t something that she will be able to shrug off easily. Their church is trying to arrange counseling for her. The family is organizing a garage sale to raise money. And we just cleared out a bunch of stuff, dang it.
    I’m going to send them a few bucks, which is all I have, and I have a lot of praying to do. If I remember correctly, this is her senior year. She has to shoulder this event while trying to apply for colleges and scholarships.
    Wow.

  64. Tedtam Avatar

    Well, it’s easier to put their money where their mouths are. Pay up your extra tax money, you redistributionist libs!

  65. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    #69 TT:

    The exempt residents are a combination of illegal immigrants and those with incomes too low to pay income taxes.

    So my tax dollars, which are extracted from me by force, go to pay for insurance benefiting those who are here ILLEGALLY and I’m supposed to be ok with that – right? I’m not and anyone else who actually realizes this will not be ok with that either. I have “skin in the game” and it is being removed from me against my will.

  66. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    #71 TT from your linkie:

    President Obama and Democrats had proposed a Buffett Rule tax, based on billionaire investor Warren Buffett’s statement that he shouldn’t pay a lower rate on his income than his secretary.

    If he was so friggin keen on paying more taxes, why are his 2006 or something returns still in a court battle with the IRS, HMMMMMMMM??? Just so we are all clear, he is fighting in court to not have to pay so much, so what he says does not match his actions, which makes him a LYING SOB. Ifn we had an honest news media, that statement of fact would appear each and every time he spews his lying hypocritical BS about tax rates.

  67. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    32 OT
    If you think I’m gonna let Katfish stand on my back, you gotta
    ‘nother thing coming.

  68. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    So little boys can be best friends up to some age, after which they would not be caught dead sitting together at a sports event.

  69. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    Who kilt the blog??

  70. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    Interesting; I refreshed a couple of times just before I posted, yet 74 and 75 did not show up until after I posted.

  71. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    Here’s a funny pic for those who have FB:

    Obama met with a “pirate” today for International Talk Like a Pirate Day but still doesn’t have time to meet with his Jobs Council. LIKE if you think Obama should get the hook.
    https://www.facebook.com/#!/ForAmerica

  72. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    Based on that pic of the pirate that Obammy met with today, I think I know what pantaloons are now.

  73. El Gordo Avatar

    Isn’t this pirate stuff racist? I mean, aren’t pirates historically followers of the religion of peace? For shame. Now call security and start beefing it up.

  74. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    #64
    Hammy
    Andre Ware was on the radio tonight chiming in on Vince Young and everyone taking joy in his financial woes saying no one ever said a peep when [some white quarterback] claimed he was scammed by someone. IOWs it’s racist.
    What he’s not getting is, everyone saw this coming, he has a history and it doesn’t surprise anyone. I’m disappointed in Andre, thought he’d be above all that.
    BTW, I owe you one for having O-Bama, O-bama, O-bama in my head all day.

  75. wagonburner Avatar
    wagonburner

    Iranian “cleric” picks the wrong day to criticise an Iranian wimmin who had enough of wearing a Campmaster 3000.

  76. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    Beheshti said he was hospitalized for three days

  77. shamaal Avatar
    shamaal

    Argghhhhhhhhhhh ……….
    Me second mate survived the butchery of the bones in the papist sick bay, but is out action for 72 bells. There’s no one aboard to scrub the poop deck or find me mizzen mast.
    It’s a mutiny I tell you, a mutiny!

  78. Hamous Avatar

    Andre Ware was on the radio tonight chiming in on Vince Young and everyone taking joy in his financial woes saying no one ever said a peep when [some white quarterback] claimed he was scammed by someone. IOWs it’s racist.

    Andre, Andre, Andre. Not everyone can make it as an elite quarterback in the NFL like you. I’m not jumping on VY ’cause he’s black. I’m jumping on him ’cause he’s a Teasipper.

  79. Tedtam Avatar

    I had my first class tonight. I think I scared them when I went over my rules (no talking in class when someone else is talking, no ridiculing anyone else, the three things they MUST bring to class each week, come on time, be prepared to learn, etc.). I could sense the sphincters tightening up. Then two of my students from last year came by and told them how awesome I was, but that I threw things. Then we went into the personality types lesson and I re-enacted Moses and then Adam and Eve. They were much relaxed by the end of class. The last one to leave told me he enjoyed himself.
    No whips and chains were needed.

  80. shamaal Avatar
    shamaal

    That be your side of the tale, I be wagering it was the cool parrot that caught the middies attentions. 😉
    Or the cat o’nine tails.

  81. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    #85
    I like Andre’s play by play a lot, but anytime he goes into what a quarterback should do or not do I’m just “Dude, you did not make it, c’mon”.

  82. shamaal Avatar
    shamaal

    Winston Churchill: “Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves, that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, ‘This was their finest arrr!’”

    hatlo to DK

  83. Hamous Avatar

    Truth be told, I’m worried about VY. Usually guys with big, giant egos don’t handle adversity at all. He’s been told all his life how wonderful he is. Now that he’s failed, I’d hate to see him living under a bridge, or worse.

  84. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    The pic of Obammy meeting with a pirate (referenced in my #78) is up on Drudge.

  85. shamaal Avatar
    shamaal

    Well it beats being shot by the Vice President, I guess ……………….

    ARE dogs taking over the world? Two men, on opposite sides of the world, have been shot by their alleged best friends.
    One man’s shooting trip in Utah, US took a surprise turn when he was shot in the buttocks – by his own dog.
    Meanwhile in France, a 55-year-oldd hunter had to have his right hand amputated after his dog accidentally shot him has said he doesn’t blame the pet, which he still considers “adorable”.

  86. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    On a personnel level I feel bad for VY as well, but in reality, financially, his rock bottom is my ceiling just with appearance fees and selling autographs.

  87. Adee Avatar
    Adee

    #94 Wagonburner
    Now that is just the person to confront ole Eric Holder about his foggy memory and weak knees. Nightmare and he’s not asleep.

  88. shamaal Avatar
    shamaal

    So, I guess today is talk like a nun day?
    Classssssssssss ………………………

  89. shamaal Avatar
    shamaal

    I forgot the cheesy joke ….
    Q: What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep?
    A: A roaming catholic.

  90. TexMo Avatar
    TexMo

    Good morning?!?

  91. shamaal Avatar
    shamaal

    A gorgeous morning!
    I suspect some of the others may have had too much grog last night.
    It is cool here in Friendswood.

  92. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    Is it Ground Hog Day?

  93. shamaal Avatar
    shamaal

    That would explain Bill Murray at the Shamaalina’s bus stop this a.m.
    And here I thought it was just some perv.

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