Hambone v3.0

Tuesday Pay Your Taxes Day – Right Now !!!

KYIV—Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky made an urgent plea for every American to make sure and do their taxes so that he will get paid.

The lovable actor-turned-president whose net worth stands at $1.3 billion says that he’s relying on the American taxpayer to “do your part” to ensure that Zelensky can maintain his fleet of private jets and luxury yachts.

“I turn to you in this critical moment, American taxpayer, because I have already siphoned off all of Ukraine’s disposable income. Please, please, please, pay your taxes so that I will get paid,” Zelensky said in a video directed to the American middle class.

Zelensky assured the American taxpayers that their global elites will get paid too.

“Please knowing that we are giving 10% of all the aid directed to my bank account right to the ‘Big Guy’ Joe Biden and of course Hunter Biden will receive his cut too,” Zelensky said.

“April 18th is approaching fast. Please don’t make the IRS come after you for my money,” Zelensky added.

Just kidding. The US government will pay Zelensky before they do anything they’re supposed to do.

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51 responses to “Tuesday Pay Your Taxes Day – Right Now !!!”

  1. Super Dave Avatar
    Super Dave

    Yup, Genesius Times, I think they’re better than the Babylon Bee but only by a little. Well it looks like all the rain is in far north Alabama, figures.
    Mornin’ Gang

  2. texanadian Avatar
    texanadian

    Good morning to everyone. Coffee time.

  3. Texpat Avatar
    Texpat

    While Squawk and Bsue were sleeping last night, 2,712,600 birds flew right over their heads on a due north heading at 19 mph and 2,200 ft. altitude.

  4. Texpat Avatar
    Texpat

    Are you packing your bags yet, Texanadian ?

    Canada introduces blood-curdling new ‘thought police’ law that would make even Stalin blush…

    Canada has fallen. It’s become the North Korea of the West, and it’s getting worse every single day. This new bill they’ve introduced is the cherry on their tyrannical sundae. It’s called the Online Harms Bill C-63, and it would make even Stalin blush. As a matter of fact, tyrannical dictator Kim Jong-Un would look at this bill and feel an instant rush of communist inadequacy. With this new bill, Justin Trudeau is fueling those online rumors that his real father is actually communist dirtbag Fidel Castro.

    Historian and anti-communist activist Muriel Blaive, Phd.:

    The Canadian law proposal is outright mad. It is retroactive, which goes against all our Western legal tradition, according to which you can be punished only if you infringed a law that was valid at the time when you committed a crime: “And it isn’t just stuff you’ve posted after the new law comes into force you can get into trouble for – oh, no – but anything you’ve posted, ever, dating back to the dawn of the internet. In other words, it’s a gold-embossed invitation to offence archaeologists to do their worst, with the prospect of a $20,000 reward if they hit paydirt. The only way to protect yourself is to go through all your social media accounts and painstakingly delete anything remotely controversial you’ve ever said.”

    And there is worse!

    “Although, that won’t protect you from another clause in the bill – and this is where it trips over into as yet unimagined dystopian territory. If the courts believe you are likely to commit a ‘hate crime’ or disseminate ‘hate propaganda’ (not defined), you can be placed under house arrest and your ability to communicate with others restricted. That is, a court can force you to wear an ankle bracelet, prevent you using any of your communication devices and then instruct you not to leave the house. If the court believes there’s a risk you may get drunk or high and start tweeting under the influence – although how is unclear, given you can’t use your phone or a PC – it can order you to submit regular urine samples to the authorities. Anyone who refuses to comply with these diktats can be sent to prison.”

    1. texanadian Avatar
      texanadian

      Yes, I have read about that. Trudope is a complete and useless failure. I doubt it will pass.

  5. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    How come our birds are so much slower than Alabama’s birds?

    1. Super Dave Avatar
      Super Dave

      Wrong Camshaft? 😀

      1. GJT Avatar
        GJT

        😀 😀

        So, we’d get in the quarter mile?

    2. Texpat Avatar
      Texpat

      Millions more birds over Texas. It’s like a gigantic traffic jam. Texas sees more types of birds than any other state.

      1. Super Dave Avatar
        Super Dave

        In the middle of the Central flyway. Birds from/to South America & Canada.

      2. GJT Avatar
        GJT

        😀 😀

  6. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    The flies have been so bad here I tried an old trick that seems to help – fill small zip lock bags with water and hang them up. Supposedly, the water magnifies their reflection and it scares them off. Well, some newcomer hummingbirds think it’s a dirty trick as they keep coming around checking them out. I feel bad, need to get a couple of feeders.

    1. Texpat Avatar
      Texpat

      I’ve seen the bags of water method work and have never understood why it does.

  7. Super Dave Avatar
    Super Dave

    I just saw a blurb on Fox that said something about the Savages that have taken over Columbia University commandeering a building and taking the janitors hostage?!?! WTF?!?! If this is true will they be punished for kidnapping? I for one am NOT holding my breath. ~SPITS~

  8. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    The Florida Attorney General takes on Biden and the President of Mexico in this video. She is introduced at the 10:08 mark.

  9. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    Babs gets blowback.

    https://twitchy.com/grateful-calvin/2024/04/30/barbra-streisand-tweet-about-democrat-vs-republican-economies-n2395672

    1. Bonecrusher Avatar
      Bonecrusher

      I don’t think Babs was expecting such a visceral response. I would love to see her face when she reads the truth.

      1. Texpat Avatar
        Texpat

        This tweet was great in response to Streisand’s ignorance.

  10. Texpat Avatar
    Texpat

    The Hamas riot encampment on the UCLA campus was invaded by hundreds of white mice. Commies blame the Zionist geeks from the science labs at the school.

    1. Bonecrusher Avatar
      Bonecrusher

      Connected to the mice mishap story is one where Iowahawk absolutely fries the pali sympathizers.

  11. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    HEADLINE: Scottish First Minister Humza Yousaf Resigns Less Than One Month After Introduction of Hate Speech Censorship Law
    What is really cool is that he made a vile racist speech complaining that, except for him, all the leadership was composed of white people . . . . in a country that is 96% white. After his speech there were thousands of complaints phoned in for hate speech against white people.
    Bottom line: the man is a vile tyrant and Scotland is just a bit better off with him not in a position of power.

  12. squawkbox Avatar
    squawkbox

    A little song of HOPE


    19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.

    1. Tedtam Avatar
      Tedtam

      Dang onions. /sniff

  13. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    We are losing our Aunt Lois, she is the last of my mom’s generation. RIP lady, you’ve had a long struggle.

    1. Tedtam Avatar
      Tedtam

      It’s a weird feeling when the last of the aunts and uncles are gone. I remember Eldest and I discussing how we felt when the last of the parents went, and then Beloved Fluttery Aunt, who was the last of that generation. I remember thinking I had no one with world experience and wisdom to call on, that it was all up to me and Hubby on our own now….

  14. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    Hmmm.

    Texas AG Ken Paxton is in New York to support Trump.

    I’m thinking that if we take back the U.S. Senate, Paxton would survive the confirmation process to replace Merrick Garland. 🙂

  15. Texpat Avatar
    Texpat

    PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: I will be southbound to Texas in the morning. I’ll be there for 8 days so my posting and commenting will be light. Carry on….

  16. wagonburner Avatar
    wagonburner

    Stay away from Austin, what with you being a Red Sea Pedestrian and all.

    1. Tedtam Avatar
      Tedtam

      “Red Sea Pedestrian”! I’m gonna remember that one! /stealing

  17. Tedtam Avatar
    Tedtam

    I had my doctor appointment – finally! – this morning. Saw the same PA as the last time. I reported that I completed the ear drops she prescribed before but the pillow-in-ear feeling remains. I told her one case where a loud restaurant’s background noise and a surge in the pressure created a virtual wall of white noise and I couldn’t hear well out of that ear. She was very concerned when I told her that, but she thinks it could be an allergy related issue even though I’m not experiencing any allergy symptoms. So I’m waiting for Hubby to get my allergy prescription from the store, since he has my car and about to install the new catalytic converter.

    I also explained that I’m in month 3 of the sciatica crisis. We discussed it and she agreed that a cortisone shot combined with a pain med cocktail was called for. I hate those shots, but this one didn’t hurt nearly as much as past cortisone shots. I told Hubby it is helping – I don’t panic if the crutches aren’t nearby, and I can actually take regular size steps. Still not 100%, but soooooooo much better. I’m planning on tackling the treadmill – carefully! – in a little bit.

    The PA is also hoping that the steroid in my hip will help my ear. I have another appointment for a female checkup tomorrow, and she’ll be waiting to hear from as to how I’m feeling. If the ear doesn’t clear up, I’ll be sent to an ENT specialist. I told her I don’t think I’m losing or have lost any hearing, and it’s not painful but just annoying. She wants to be careful, though, and if the current meds don’t improve the ear, I’ll be off to a new doctor soon.

  18. Tedtam Avatar
    Tedtam

    Garden update: the borage is blooming, and those flowers are purty. Tomatoes are coming along, with one of them showing the first signs of blushing. Tomatillos everywhere are making the pollinators happy, but no sign of fruit yet. Not that I can see, anyway. Peppers are ripening, and I gathered another good handful of bush beans. My asparagus beans are beginning to put out flower pods, and that makes me very happy. My seedling asparagus are putting out second teeny tiny fronds in their little cups, and my paprika seedlings are maturing, but slowly. I put both of those out in the sun since the rain threat is over. I gave them some fertilizer to help give them a little kick in their seedling butts.

    My rose bush is showing more flower buds and more vegetation, so it’s happy. My ginger is poking more leaf above the soil; about dang time. My turmeric hasn’t braved the outside world yet. /sigh

    I sprayed everything with bT and found one caterpillar on one of my beans. It’s now out in the yard somewhere.

    So, green beans and lettuce in hand and hopefully everything else soon.

    PS: Not a single creepy crawlie on my stevia. I guess it’s not a host plant for anything local.

  19. Tedtam Avatar
    Tedtam

    Now I need to go check the food I have running through Elsa. Time for the first weigh-in.

  20. Tedtam Avatar
    Tedtam

    The C&C round up from today:

    Good morning, C&C, it’s Tuesday! Your roundup of everything you need to know about what’s going on in the world includes: Trump stock price ‘unexpectedly’ jumps as second trial week starts; another miraculous gift lands on the Trump trial; another trump-deranged law professor admits its a trial about nothing — in the New York Times; Ukraine aid narrative shrinking faster than Alice after eating the mushroom that makes you small; China pushes back on historic Biden peacetime war powers; and the WHO pandemic treaty shrinks to a more manageable size.
    

  21. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    Austin is indeed one of our destinations.
    But the campus is not.

  22. Texpat Avatar
    Texpat

    I wonder what is happening with that pre-fab city Elon Musk was building near Bastrop. He just laid off 2,700 employees who were supposed to be living there. Might be some deals on property.

  23. Texpat Avatar
    Texpat

    We are going to be down on Congress Avenue at the Paramount Theater on Thursday night. It’s around 9th street and the UT Tower is at 22nd Street. I’m figuring the Hamas kids won’t be ranging that far south.

  24. Texpat Avatar
    Texpat

    If you missed James Carville’s nervous breakdown go here. It’s hilarious and profane. Be forewarned !

  25. Texpat Avatar
    Texpat

    I missed who did the poll, but I heard on the radio a new one out of college students in America said out 16 issues ranked in order of importance the whole Israel/Palestinian/Gaza issue was at #15. The media is making a much bigger deal of this than it really is, but they like the excitement.

  26. squawkbox Avatar
    squawkbox

    Texpat has asked us minions to fill his ample shoes of posting while he is gone. No one requested it but I know you want it, I will be resurrecting my yearly SPEEDO REVIEW. You’re Welcome

    https://projectlyme.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/publicserviceannouncementcoverimage.png

  27. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    :ahhhhh:

    1. squawkbox Avatar
      squawkbox

      See GJT let go a sigh of anticipation. I just might do an in depth 3 part expose’

      1. GJT Avatar
        GJT

        How many parts you got???

        1. squawkbox Avatar
          squawkbox

          Enough for one a day for a whole year except for Christmas and Thanksgiving.

          1. GJT Avatar
            GJT

            😀 😀

  28. Adee Avatar
    Adee

    The morning was spent with both of us seeing several doctors for routine stuff that all was deemed to be normal. Great news there. Then we came home briefly to feed kitty and went out to lunch.

    Have not yet read the Chron for today, more like browsing through it, to see if WW3 started yet.

    I must go shopping for flowers tomorrow so they can be planted before the heat really begins later in May. My previewing what the nursery has was a big help.

    Eeek, May arrives already tomorrow.

  29. Tedtam Avatar
    Tedtam

    The cortisone shot seem to have worked. Yay me! I was actually able to do two whole miles on the treadmill, though I went a little bit slower than I usually do. Since hubby is working on my car, I fixed him dinner, will put it in the fridge, and he can eat it whenever he’s ready. Then I’m going to wash dishes, and after that do my night time work. I figured cooking dinner for him and washing dishes at least I can do since he’s trying to fix my car. We’re good like that, we fill in each other’s spaces. And that my dear, is what marriage is all about.

  30. Tedtam Avatar
    Tedtam

    I never could stand in Carville. I remembered that he was annoying, but didn’t remember exactly how annoying he was until I tried to watch that video. The one that’s linked below. No freaking way. I just had dinner, and I like to keep it down.

  31. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    I always thought Carville was entertaining.

    My real abhorrence is reserved for others of his ilk.

  32. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    Corticosteroids – the great miracle drugs.

  33. Tedtam Avatar
    Tedtam

    Corticosteroids – the great miracle drugs.

    And Ivermectin.

  34. Texpat Avatar
    Texpat

    Corticosteroids are the gateway drug for old people.

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