Mary, the Annunciation and Conception

I am not special. My name is even a common one. I am not particularly beautiful, nor rich, nor endowed with any special gifts except a deep and abiding love and reverence for my G-d.  I had planned to dedicate my life to His service, and did all I could to follow His commandments.  My mother was always thanking G-d that I was her daughter, and we spent much time laughing together as we worked on our household chores.  I adored my father.  We were a very happy family.  I was betrothed an older yet very kind man.  Joseph, a carpenter, had been chosen by my parents.  His eyes followed me as a man’s would, yet his words were respectful and kind.  His hands and arms were strong, and he would be a good provider for me.  He also revered G-d, and was well-known and respected at Temple.  He gave alms to the poor.  I awaited my wedding night with the same excitement and trepidation of all young brides, and my life seemed set, which was a comforting thought.

One evening I was awakened by a brilliant glow that filled even the darkest corners of my small room.  Startled from my sleep, I was filled with a sense of goodness and calm despite the situation that would normally fill me with fear.  Where are my mother and father? Could they not see the glow?  Would they not be afraid for me?  As I held my hands over my eyes, the glow faded and I could see someone looking at me.  An angel! AN ANGEL!  In my room!

“Hail, full of grace!” the angel said.”  I looked as closely as I could, but all I can remember is the kindness in the eyes and the slight smile that touched the corner of his lips. And why was he calling me by that title instead of my name?  Thoughts tumbled through my mind, out of control.  Why me?  Why now?  What was wanted of me? I wanted to speak, but the words froze on my lips as I gazed at my visitor.

The angel smiled a little wider and his eyes twinkled a little more, as if he were enjoying a private joke shared with someone I could not see.  I pulled my thin blankets to my neck.  “The Lord is with you, Mary, and you are blessed among women.”  What did these words mean?   Blessed among women?  What did he WANT?  My heart pounded faster, so fast that I thought it would jump from my chest.  “Fear not,” he said kindly, noticing my anxiety.  I began to calm down, the fear leaving my body. “Behold! You shall conceive in your womb, and shall bring forth a son; and you shall name him Jesus.”  WHAT! Conceive a baby?  The angel continued, as if to let me know how important this was, “He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the most High; and the Lord God shall give him the throne of David his father; and he shall reign in the house of Jacob forever!”

My head was swirling.  The throne of David, our great king?  True, Joseph was of the line of David, but we had not engaged in relations.  Son of the most High? Blasphemy! But this was G-d’s own messenger!  How could it be blasphemy, from G-d himself?  And could I refuse this, having dedicated myself to His service?  The angel continued to smile at me, waiting for my response.  “How shall this be done? I do not know man,” I replied.  He replied, “The Holy Spirit shall come upon you, and the power of the most High shall overshadow you.  And therefore also the Holy which shall be born of you shall be called the Son of God.”  I almost fainted.  While a little unclear on the specifics, I understood what would happen.  I was to conceive and give birth to – impossible!

The angel continued on, as if reading my thoughts, “Behold your cousin Elizabeth, she has also conceived a son in her old age; and this is the sixth month with her that is called barren, because no word shall be impossible with God.”  My mind screamed at me. Elizabeth!  Pregnant!  But she was so old, and had never been able to give Zachariah a child!  And a SON!  What a blessing!  I had not seen Elizabeth in some time, but I was so happy for her.  And in that happiness I found my answer.  I bowed my head and said, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it done to me according to your word.”  When I looked up, the angel was gone.  Did it really happen?  Did I dream the whole thing?  I laid myself down, sure that I had imagined the whole thing, but also sure that I would be unable to sleep.  To my surprise, a deep sleep overcame me as my head touched the pillow.  I had strange, unremembered dreams, and when the morning came, I knew that it was no dream.  I knew, KNEW, that I carried life within me.

JOSEPH! I was suddenly afraid.  What would he think? What would he do?  What do I tell him?  Would he believe me?  And would my mother and father believe me?  To my knowledge, no living person had carried G-d within.  Joseph had the right to have me stoned as an adulteress, should he not believe me.  I carried my secret with me all day, touching my womb as if to reassure myself that it was really true.  That is how Joseph found me, standing under the almond tree, with my hand on my stomach.  He knew what the look on my face meant, and his face dark with anger, he confronted me.  I tried to explain, but he did not believe me.  Tears streaming down my cheeks, I described the angelic encounter, but he would not listen.  He stormed from our garden as I crumpled into a heap on the ground, my mother watching with open mouth from the window.  She came rushing out to me, but I could not explain what had happened.  I could not bear another rejection. I begged to be released from my chores and retired to my bedroom.  I was unable to eat or stir from my bed.

Joseph arrived later the next day.  My mother allowed him into my bedroom, her questioning eyes following him.  Joseph told her nothing, but came straight to my bed and sat me up.  Was this it?  Would he divorce me and cause me shame?  Or in his anger would he have me dragged before the Sanhedrin and declared an adulteress?  I clutched my blankets and could not meet his eyes, looking down at the ground.  I trembled as the tears streamed down my cheeks.  He kneeled in front of me and placed his hands on my cheeks.  Gently lifting my head, he wiped away the tears with his thumbs as he gazed into my eyes.  “I believe you,” he said, “and I also serve G-d.  I love you.  I will serve you as a husband, caring for you and this son you carry.  But I must respect you always as handmaiden of G-d.  Do you understand?”  As the realization of what he was saying entered my understanding, I threw my arms around him and together we cried.  I put my head on his chest, and he put his strong hand gently on my head, and we became one in our hearts.  Praise G-d for his blessings!