NYC to replace Thomas Jefferson statue with a statue of George Floyd robbing a pregnant woman at gunpoint

NEW YORK CITY—In a bold move toward modernizing public spaces, New York City has announced plans to replace the statue of Thomas Jefferson with a striking new sculpture depicting George Floyd engaging in a multifaceted act of societal commentary. The statue, entitled “Progressive Perspectives,” aims to encapsulate the evolving narrative of justice, race, and, apparently, crime.

The new monument portrays George Floyd in a dynamic pose, artfully capturing the essence of his multifaceted life. In this visionary piece, Floyd is depicted engaging in a thought-provoking act – robbing a pregnant woman at gunpoint. According to the artist, the scene symbolizes the complex intersections of social issues that define our times.

TX Gov Abbott installs more razor wire along the Southern border to halt the catastrophic effects of climate chang

EAGLE PASS, TX. Climate change knows no boundaries, and neither should our efforts to stop it,” Abbott declared in a press conference, standing proudly next to rolls of gleaming razor wire. “We’re taking decisive action to ensure that Texas remains a fortress against the rising tides of global warming.”

The unexpected initiative aims to create a climate-controlled barrier to protect Texas from the purported climate change refugees who may be fleeing areas affected by extreme weather events.

“We’re not just stopping bad weather; we’re stopping the very essence of climate change from infiltrating our great state and America,” Abbott explained, seemingly undeterred by the perplexed expressions in the room.

Environmentalists, initially bewildered by the governor’s unique approach, are now divided in their responses. Some see it as a bold attempt to address the root causes of climate change, while others are left wondering if perhaps a more conventional investment in renewable energy might have sufficed.

“It’s a visionary move,” claimed one enthusiastic supporter, “Finally, someone is tackling the root cause of climate change – people moving around. Brilliant!”