NEW YORK—In a bold move to protect the lungs of New Yorkers, Mayor Eric Adams has announced a groundbreaking ban on the infamous Canadian wildfire smoke that has been wafting its way into the city. Concerned about the potential health risks posed by the foreign fumes, Mayor Adams is taking decisive action to create a smoke-free environment for all residents.
Addressing the press at City Hall, Mayor Adams declared, “Enough is enough! We cannot let our beloved city be engulfed in smoke from across the border. We have a duty to protect the lungs and air quality of New Yorkers. Starting today, we are banning all Canadian wildfire smoke from entering our city limits!”
The announcement came as a surprise to many, with some questioning the mayor’s authority to control the direction of the wind and the behavior of wildfires in a neighboring country. Nevertheless, Mayor Adams remained resolute in his determination to create a smoke-free oasis within the bustling metropolis.
The ban will be enforced by a crack team of air quality inspectors stationed at various entry points into the city. Equipped with giant fans and oversized fly swatters, these vigilant officers will stand guard, ready to intercept any rogue plumes of Canadian wildfire smoke attempting to infiltrate New York City.
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