War. Murder. Mayhem. Bad hair on questionable political candidates.
I thought I’d lighten up things on this hectic pre-Thanksgiving Day.
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” The Mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t, dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.” A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, Happy birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you…
It was that time during the Sunday morning service for “the children’s sermon,” and all the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said to her, “That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?” The little girl replied, directly into the pastor’s clip-on microphone, “Yes, and my Mom says it’s a *itch to iron.”
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.” Bobby looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, “If he gets loose, will he hurt us?”
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”
It’s 12:30 Shannon!
/what is that burning smell…
Wake me up at 12:30 willya?
I’m supposed to turn the oven down to 275.
The five words that’ll get me into a motel faster than a Fort Sill offer.
60 TT
Given the choice between cake and something called cauliflower mash….
And you choose the cauliflower mash?
I always knew there was something wrong with you.
🙂
In for D) on this one.
Enjoy this little tyke.
Same to you Brother Squawk.
You sold me on the dogs. I may have to try them.
Peace brothers and sisters.
Happy Thanksgiving and Pecan Pie with Cool Whip day tomorrow.
Well, our a/c went out and cooking in the kitchen left me hot and uncomfortable. Got 2 cheese cakes in the frig before my back was hurting too much to continue. I was going to make a special low carb cake and cauliflower mash to take to my sister’s tomorrow. I might make the mash, but until then, I’m icing… Read more »
Happy Thanksgiving to all. When I give my thanks y’all are included in the list.
Brother Katfish
Yup I have had Sabrettes. Must confess that in a side by side pig out I would be hard pressed to choose a “weiner”. 🙂
#43 – Rightbackatchyall Brother!
I’m not even doing Landry’s buffet this time around – a BACA Brother has kindly invited me to their feast.
#53 –
I’d wager THAT was a Sabrette!!
#37 – Squawk have ya tried Sabrette’s?
I’m confident TP can testify – beins he’s dang near a Yankee anymore…..
*DUKKIN*
The two of us together rubbing down the bird with buttah and slipping another stick or two of seasoned buttah under the breast skin.
So romantic.
Those are the best hotdogs I have ever eaten. Had em every time we go to Maine. They are not chicken and you can eat them anyway you want. I prefer the old fashioned mustard ketchup and relish myself. They are great grilled, boiled, steamed or skilleted. And they do have a “snap” when you bite into them. I also… Read more »
Where is Lubys at again….
Grandkids parents coming over tomorrow, youngest son’s days off fell just right and the guy he replaces said go ahead and take Thanksgiving day too. Got my big pot and accessories all cleaned up and peanut oil bought for frying the bird, Sweetie’s been cooking all day… Almost ready. Yeah right.
5150 with beans.
Red Snapper hot dogs? Never had em.
What do you put on them? Relish? Mustard? Ketchup?
Hope they don’t taste like chicken. 🙂
A pair of industrious squirrels are still nibbling on the remaining pumpkins that I moved to the edge of the patio in back so the mess they make is easier to clean up. They literally climb halfway inside the bigger ones to feast on the entrails at the back and apparently the meat as well. However, those are the last… Read more »
#35 Cranberry Poll I like canned whole-berry cranberries. Close enough to real, but without any hassle. BUT Hubs takes some medication that rules out cranberries, so when we have turkey and dressing at home, we use Tart Michigan Cherry Preserves as an acceptable substitute. Hubs lost most of his sense of smell/taste — probably also due to medications — a… Read more »
Put me down for C, the real thing. Miss the days of cranberry/orange relish made at home using a crank meat grinder. Adding some spices to taste, and it was wonderful as a dessert if’n we made too much to go with dinner. Kept well in the fridge for several days also. But that was long ago and far away.… Read more »
Face it Texpat. Your only hope for peace is to come to Texas for a few weeks.
And Texpat is no doubt putting the finishing touches on his annual hosting and cooking for thirty friends on Thanksgiving.
But maybe not.
Overseeing the merger of two million-year-old synagogues may have him hiding out in Delaware.
A Katfish sighting!
I figured you were on the way to North Texas or something.
Happy Thanksgiving.
#35 – a resounding *D*
Her supply having been devastated, Adee is unavailable while she scavenges the neighborhood for the less-stinky surviving pumpkins to feed the squirrel friends.
Canned, cold.
I vaguely remember you talking about those dogs in the past…always piquing my curiosity. Love a good dog.
36 SQk It’s really strange. Fay and I are the only ones that like the real cranberry thing among those in her family. We always showed up with it and ended up hauling most of it home. This year it’ll just be her and me fighting over the real thing. /Both of us pining for the years we were able… Read more »
Would you spend $112 for 5 pounds of hotdogs and 3 packages of buns?
I did.
Dang overnight shipping is expensive,
Those “Red Snapper” hotdogs are the best.
/Enter Texpat to take issue. 🙂
Official Thsnksgiving Hammie Poll
“C” especially with beans and Van Roth singing in the back ground.
Official Thanksgiving Hammie Poll
Chose one:
A) I hate Cranberries
B) I only like the canned stuff
C) I only like the real thing, I live for it each year
D) I like both
E) Huh?
#32 don’t worry, it was prolly Shannon’s with his new truck. #29 If I can figure out how to make it work. The reason that I say this, is because when I got my new Chebby with all the fancy buttons on the wheel and I started pushing them, “On Star” came on and said that NASA had called and… Read more »
It’s just not the same without ya, main.
Wow this is weird. I see y’all have been posting all day long. I have been blocked from hamous.org till about an hour ago.
/Who did I urinate off to get blocked from the couch.
Not to worry, NO ONE in Texas EVER uses them anyway, you’ll fit right in. 😀
Dove dark chocolate covered whole cranberries.
If I can figure out how to make it work
Bluetooth too. Nice cause I can’t seem to hear callers on my cell phone….. now I can crank up the radio speakers and hear just fine.
Clean as a whistle, late 2012 4WD F150 V8 Cab and a half. 6′ bed.
Every interior bell and whistle you’d want except dead cow skins.
These modern turn signal levers are weird.
It’s a Ffffff… Fffffffor….., ah, can’t say it. Fix Or Repair Daily.
#20 Shannon, so what is it? Chevy, Ford, Dodge? 1/2, 3/4, 1 Ton? Color,…..pictures, we need pictures.
#20 Shannon
Presume it was too large to come down the chimney.
#14 Sounds promising, El Gordo. My best friend for 35+ years is a Rice grad who married another Rice grad who is equally delightful. She’s been steadfastly there for me when I was having a difficult time managing the care of my aging parents who moved here just in time from Madison. The neighbors there had done all they could… Read more »
Merry Christmas
My permanent truck was delivered to me today. What a dream after those other two unmentionables.
And speaking of nosy neighbors, does anyone know what happened to wagonburner? I do hope that he’s O.K.
Make sure there’s movement every couple days? 😛