Weekend Limerick Open Comments

I was recently moving some things around, and I came across a book I purchased years ago for fun. “The Limerick Book” is very thick and full of…limericks. Some of them are not for public fare, but from time to time I’ll share some of them with you.
A mum had a daughter named Shelley
Who started to grow big in the belly
“What’s this” said Mum
Patting Shelley’s tum
“You’ve spent too much time down the Deli…”
There was a young man named Jeff
Who yearned to be a good chef
But instead of cutting out gristle
He could blow a good whistle
So they turned him into a ref.
There was once a veteran plumber
Who refused to dig ditches in summer.
“Now that I’m older
I only dig when it’s colder,
Digging dirt in the heat is a bummer.”

They said that it would never fall
It was concrete, rigid and tall.
The people said “Enough!”
And showed they were tough
By knocking down the old Berlin Wall.
There was an old man who averred
He had learned how to fly like a bird.
Cheered by thousands of people
He leapt from the steeple –
This tomb states the date it occurred.

There was a young fellow named Weir
Who hadn’t an atom of fear.
He indulged in a desire
To touch a live wire…
Most any last line will do here.
A collegiate damsel named Breeze
Weighed down by VAs and Lit. D’s,
Collapsed from the strain
Alas, it was plain,
She was killing herself by degrees!

There was a young lady named Kinter,
Who married a man in the winter.
The man’s name was Wood,
And now, as they should,
The Woods have a cute little splinter.
Okay, one I’m not sure that Hammy’s grammy will like, but here goes…
(Hammy can edit if he wishes)
There was a young man from St. Paul’s
Who read Harper’s Bazaar and McCall’s
Till he grew such a passion
For feminine fashion
That he knitted a snood for his balls.