Monday Ewww Open Comments

As I mentioned, Lovely Daughter had her baby shower last Saturday. It was a fun occasion, but there was one game there that I had never seen played before.
Baby shower game
As you can see, this is an (almost) anatomically correct depiction of, well, the baby-making apparatus of wimmins. There were also anatomically correct sperm, of which all of the game participants received just one. You guessed it – we played a baby shower version of “Pin the Tail on the Donkey”. Aggie Beau got his at least in the right neighborhood, but another of the girls actually “fertilized” the egg.
I was standing there blindfolded, with my sperm skewered on a stick pin, and instead of putting it on the board right away, I kept poking it at Lovely’s friend, threatening to impregnate her.
It was an interesting game.
And can you tell me why this diagram is not entirely correct? Keep in mind that a biomed major put it together.


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  1. texanadian Avatar
    texanadian

    First, but I’m cheating as I am in Pennsylvania and have an hour jump on y’all. Have a great week.

  2. Super Dave Avatar
    Super Dave

    Second!
    Well It’s back to the salt mine.
    Morinin’ Gang

  3. Super Dave Avatar
    Super Dave

    And can you tell me why this diagram is not entirely correct?

    They left off the fun part?

  4. Hamous Avatar

    Not even the FLOTUS is immune to TSA abuses.

  5. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    /insert Chewbacca noise

  6. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    Strange that an Aggie wold have a Texas Longhorn in her innards.

  7. Hamous Avatar

    ST. PETERSBURG — After years of struggling to feel comfortable in his own skin, Chris Martin — who chooses not to label his sexual orientation — decided to wear black eyeliner, eyeshadow and lipstick on the 14-year-old’s last day in the eighth grade.
    But as soon as he got to Meadowlawn Middle School on Wednesday, administrators told Martin he was violating the dress code. They wanted him to change his shirt and wipe off the makeup.

    I’m sure it’s just a coinkydink, right?.

    The two women who raised Martin said they understand why the shirt’s image — an anarchy symbol and sheath — was against the dress code. But the parents said the modest makeup was no different than what girls wear everyday.

    Aaaaannnnnd here you go:

    “It was kind of shocking,” said Katelynn Martin. “I can’t believe in this day and age that someone would think this was that big of an issue.”

    Future self-mutilating exhibitionists are now “the norm”.

  8. Sarge Avatar

    Aggie Beau got his at least in the right neighborhood, but another of the girls actually “fertilized” the egg.

    Wimmins.
    They’re even taking over fertilizing eggs.
    We’re doomed.

  9. Katfish Avatar

    Pin the WHAT on the WHERE????????????
    some folks simply have WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too much free time! 🙂

  10. Sarge Avatar

    Can we play pin the palm on the boobeh?

  11. El Gordo Avatar

    That is weird, maybe even sick.

  12. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    I’d say the egg is too far along, it should still be up in one of the tubes.

  13. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    SD observed the most glaring omission. M42 is also correct, ifn the egg is in that position, and is not fertilized, we have a periodical intermission from funzies.

  14. Tedtam Avatar

    #13 Mharper
    DING DING DING! WE HAVE A WINNER!

  15. Tedtam Avatar

    #11 Sarge
    I’m too far away to slap you in person, so…
    SLAP!

  16. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    #9 Sarge: The serial violation of the 4th amendment rights of millions of Americans is not a trivial matter. These are things we know:
    *BATFE violated the law in the Fast and Furious scandal along with its several clones, and the Justice Department did nothing.
    *The New Black Panthers blatantly violated the voting rights act and intimidated white voters at the polling place, and the Justice Department did nothing.
    *The IRS was used to target the political the political enemies of JugEars, including the illegal transfer of private documents, and the Justice Department did nothing.
    *Ditto the above for OSHA, EPA, and BATFE.
    *The Border Patrol has been gutted and thousands of illegal aliens have been “caught and released” to prey on the citizens of this country, and the Justice Department did nothing.
    *Eric “The Commie Bastige” Holder has been held in contempt of Congress, and has committed serial perjury before both congress and federal judges, and yet, he is still the AG.
    With the facts established that this White House has been harvesting virtually every phone call, email and blog posting, is it reasonable to assume that they would not use this information as well to target their political enemies? I suggest that the very notion that this info was not or will not be used illegally against the right side of the political spectrum is absurd.
    Have you seen the plethora of companies offering to back up your computer constantly in “the cloud”? Do you really think that data will be safe from intrusion by big bro? I have seen reports where the feds are demanding “back door” access to all software; based on the past actions of this admin do you really think that it will just be for security reasons or will they target their political opposition?
    THOSE WHO WOULD TRADE A LITTLE LIBERTY FOR MORE SECURITY WILL SOON LOSE BOTH AND DESERVE NEITHER!

  17. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    Can we play pin PLACE the palm on the boobeh?

    One of my favorite games:>)

  18. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    FoxNews and KSEV have been playing clips of then Senator JugEars railing against the Bush admin for “listening to every phone call” of every US citizen, etc. The fact is that Bush admitted to tracking known terrorists calls from outside the country coming into the country. So JugEars was railing against something that was not happening only to do that which he falsely railed against himself. If that does not define hypocrisy, then what does?
    Based on the known actions of Eric Holder, can anyone think of a scenario where he does not spend many years in prison – and still maintain a semblance of the representative republic we used to enjoy and that the founders envisioned?

  19. Hamous Avatar

    I must agree with Dave in #3 in the “what’s wrong with this picture?” test. You’ve got a closed loop system with no means of entry or exit. Not conducive to propagation of the species.

  20. Hamous Avatar

    Well, it’s not the Edmund Fitzgerald, but it IS in ♫ the big lake they call Gitche Gumee ♫.

  21. Adee Avatar
    Adee

    #3 Super Dave, #21 Hamous
    Gold star, guys. Apparently no vagina, and the cervix isn’t open. Which nudges things perilously close to the, umm, immaculate explanation. 🙁

  22. Hamous Avatar

    “Progressives” have finally found a tax increase they don’t like:

    RALEIGH, N.C. – North Carolina is joining a growing number of states exploring new fees for hybrid and electric car owners to help make up for revenue those drivers aren’t paying in gas taxes on their fuel-efficient vehicles.
    The proposal strikes many owners of alternative-fuel vehicles and some advocacy groups as a wrong-headed approach to balancing priorities of promoting U.S. energy independence with sustainable infrastructure funding. But policymakers and some experts argue taxing hybrid and electric vehicle owners is a matter of making sure all drivers help maintain the roads they use and construct new ones.

    Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/06/09/states-look-to-tax-hybrid-and-electric-car-owners-to-recoup-road-funding/#ixzz2Vp8IdIXf

  23. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    #24 CouchMaster: I wonder how big the highway funds surplus would be (on both the state and federal level) ifn the funds collected by gasoline, tires and the like taxes:
    * Were not placed in the general funds, but instead segregated only for road and bridge construction/maintenance
    * Were not compelled to be spent with union operated companies
    * reasonable planning and growth forecasting of cities and building the infrastructure to accommodate this reality before gridlock takes place
    * building the roads and bridges with the understanding that expansion will likely take place so construct them in such a manner that when the expansion does take place there is space available without overly snarling existing traffic.
    * Required that whenever a bridge is built U-turns are also built at the same time.

  24. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    This song almost always brings tears to my eyes.

  25. Hamous Avatar

    They’ll eventually institute a mileage-based system for fuel taxes at state and federal levels. Once the CAFE standards start kicking in and gasoline usage goes down they won’t accept the revenue loss. But they will try and implement it as an additional tax and not a replacement for the current fuel tax.

  26. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    #28: Wheel that bearded bastige outside, preferably near a drain, and end this nonsense with a barrage of high velocity instant lead poisoning. The PC-idiots refuse to understand that all their efforts to “not be like them” puts the entire US in the category of weak fools in the minds of our enemies. It does not show strength, it invites more like him, and will yield disastrous results.

  27. Hamous Avatar

    This week, many citizens are face-to-face with a situation that seems like it is from another popular book of the recent past, “1984” (Saturday was the 64th anniversary of its publication, coincidentally). Americans are reaping a harvest of years of social policies that encouraged trust in the state before trust in God. We see the fruits of denying God in schoolhouses and courthouses – a culture and an Establishment that have no anchors, adrift. And a government that has grown to be a power unto itself, seeking us ill instead of serving us first.
    Whittaker Chambers, despite his conversion, was convinced he had joined the losing side in a great historical battle. He was aware of the forces at work. He knew how the public could be flattered into submission. He was familiar with the ways of infiltration and subversion. He wrote to Bill Buckley toward the end of his life a rueful assessment and prediction:
    The enemy – he is ourselves. That is why it is idle to talk about preventing the wreck of Western civilization. It is already a wreck from within.

    I guess Whittaker saw it coming long before my personal revelation last November.

  28. Adee Avatar
    Adee

    #22 Hamous
    The Great Lakes are jealous guardians of shipwrecks, especially Superior. Winter storms can rival and often surpass storms on the North Sea. This latest find is a marvelous one.
    Just standing on the shore of Lake Michigan near Sturgeon Bay in Door County, WI in late fall with the wind whipping the whitecaps into small mountain ranges and cold immediately penetrating your bones so you feel you’re being freeze dried I’m told is an astounding sample of the fury of a storm on Superior. Seagulls I witnessed trying to fly against the wind on Michigan’s shore on a bright sunny early November day were being pushed backwards every time they tried. Adult people walking from the parking lot to visit the lighthouse nearby had to bend over against the wind to make any headway, and that area was relatively sheltered compared to the fully exposed lighthouse.
    I stayed in the vehicle while kin went to the lighthouse, as I had a nasty sinus headache and did not relish cold air making it worse. The wind gusts rocked the Chevy Blazer relentlessly as the seagull efforts to fly forward played out for entertainment. Even bundled up inside it became uncomfortably cold fast. Returning kin’s exposed skin was beet red from the chill, and they were so glad to get inside and get the heater going.
    Hardy folk sail the Great Lakes.

  29. Hamous Avatar

    Adee – I’ve only seen Lake Michigan and only in the summer. I’d like to see the Great Lakes in the winter once … but only if I could teleport back to warmth quickly.

  30. El Gordo Avatar

    Just to keep things equal between the sexes, tomorrow would you please post photos of my recent prostate digital exam and trans urethral prostate resection?

  31. Sarge Avatar

    Funny the kind of thing that comes out months after a Cabinet resignation.

    The Diplomatic Security Service, or the DSS, is the State Department’s security force, charged with protecting the secretary of state and U.S. ambassadors overseas and with investigating any cases of misconduct on the part of the 70,000 State Department employees worldwide.
    CBS News’ John Miller reports that according to an internal State Department Inspector General’s memo, several recent investigations were influenced, manipulated, or simply called off. The memo obtained by CBS News cited eight specific examples. Among them: allegations that a State Department security official in Beirut “engaged in sexual assaults” on foreign nationals hired as embassy guards and the charge and that members of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s security detail “engaged prostitutes while on official trips in foreign countries” — a problem the report says was “endemic.”

    These are the same people who would have been in charge of Security at Benghazi.
    I don’t think there’s a fan big enough to handle what’s fixing to hit it.

  32. Sarge Avatar

    33 El Gordo says:
    June 10, 2013 at 11:30 am
    Just to keep things equal between the sexes, tomorrow would you please post photos of my recent prostate digital exam and trans urethral prostate resection?

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand here’s a vote to ask that you please not.

  33. Sarge Avatar

    And this is scandal # Lebenteen.

    Hundreds of federal employees were given advance word of a Medicare decision worth billions of dollars to private insurers in the weeks before the official announcement, a period when trading in the shares of those firms spiked.
    The surge of trading in Humana’s and other private health insurers’ stock before the April 1 announcement already has prompted the Justice Department and the Securities and Exchange Commission to investigate whether Wall Street investors had advance access to inside information about the then-confidential Medicare funding plan.

  34. Katfish Avatar

    #26 – GREAT pikkin & singin fo SHO – I wouldn’t call that tenor ‘Rick Skaggs’ or ‘Vince Gill’ but he is darned good!

  35. Katfish Avatar

    #28 – *spits* – paralysis my hind leg – tell that wissin TERRORIST ASSASSIN to dial 1-800-WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    (bet if they hosed him good with pig’s blood he could jump right up)

  36. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    #33
    Why EG, I do believe you are jealous!

  37. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    #37 Katfish: It ain’t just the virtuosity of the instrument playing or the skill at the vocals and harmony, the wonderful rhythm that does it for me (and it really does), it is the content of the lyrics that really gets to me.

  38. Katfish Avatar

    #40 – Pls don’t misunderstand – I’m acknowledging those feller’s to be sure – just with qualifiers……………still enjoyed it just dandy

  39. Sarge Avatar

    Barry is about to lose the Liberals.
    He’ll still have the Socialists, though.

  40. Sarge Avatar

    From Ellsberg’s article:

    Obviously, the United States is not now a police state. But given the extent of this invasion of people’s privacy, we do have the full electronic and legislative infrastructure of such a state. If, for instance, there was now a war that led to a large-scale anti-war movement – like the one we had against the war in Vietnam – or, more likely, if we suffered one more attack on the scale of 9/11, I fear for our democracy. These powers are extremely dangerous

  41. Hamous Avatar

    Spoiled sports star learns he can’t get away with everything.

    While a plea deal was in the works Johnson screwed it up by slapping his male lawyer’s butt during the hearing, which enraged the judge who asked him if he thought this was all a “joke.”
    “I had no intent to make this a joke,” he said, “because my life is in shambles right now.”
    In turn, the deal was tossed, the former pro athlete was kicked out of the courtroom and has now been sentenced to a month in lock down.
    In addition, his probation was extended to December 21, 2013 with 25 hours of community service and extra therapy sessions.

    Ochocinco gets treinta días en el agujero.

  42. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    #41: No misunderstanding at all, I just wanted to tell you all the reasons I liked that song.

  43. Tedtam Avatar

    Here’s another one!
    I’m sure this has been gong on for some time, but the timing of the release of the story just piles on.
    Don’t like the behavior, but I smile at the timing.

  44. Tedtam Avatar

    They think this is news????
    Heck, within 30 minutes of the release of the “birth certificate” people knew the truth that it was a fraud.

  45. Tedtam Avatar

    It’s gettin’ a little dark and ominous looking over here. The humidity is uncomfortable.
    On a lighter note, I have discovered that (most of) my hair is long enough to French braid, which is one of the more comfortable and cool hairstyles for me.

  46. Tedtam Avatar

    Thunder.
    I may unplug before I run my errands, just to be safe. Those clouds don’t look very happy.

  47. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    This absolutely pegs out my BS-O-Meter.

    HEADLINE: Obama: ‘We Don’t Want to Tax All Businesses Out of Business’

    The very notion that a R prez would want to tax any business out of business is absurd. The way this headline reads and according to his previous statements, OJugEars has no problems taxing some business out of business.
    Then comes this little jewel:

    “If you talk to us, it turns out we’re pretty common-sense folks.
    “We don’t think government can do everything,” he said. “We don’t think that top-down solutions are the right way to go. We believe in the free market. We believe in a light touch when it comes to regulations.”

    I can not think of a more glaring case of words being opposite of deeds than this.
    /spits
    recalibrates the meter

  48. Tedtam Avatar

    #50 Boney
    I heard that earlier today. I don’t know what’s worse – that he says this crap or that people believe it.

  49. TexMo Avatar
    TexMo

    I found out today that “Doc” Taylor passed away over the weekend. I had the privilege of taking an Honors AP American History class from him during high school. The depth and breadth of the material covered was at times overwhelming, but I managed an A both semesters. I even took the AP test, passed it, and received college credit for American History.
    There was never any pulling the wool over an old salt like Taylor. One of his oft cited responses to our attempted shenanigans was, “That dog ain’t gonna hunt.” Heaven forbid if you attempted to question his grading of your test because you would then hear his other common refrain, “I have forgotten more history in my pinky than you will ever learn.”
    I have volunteered for my alma mater at high school college fairs including at Alief Taylor High School. I have inquired about “Doc” Taylor and found that he was still active around the school. Not a bad way to spend retirement.
    May his memory be eternal.

  50. Katfish Avatar

    Hmmmmmmmmmmm – new 3rd Party name?
    *THE WHISTLEBLOWERS!*

  51. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    As I was taking my siesta, I was listening to Medved’s talk show, guest Jesse Ventura. I don’t have much use for Ventura, but he was ripping Medved a new one over the NSA whistle-blower. Medved seems to believe the federales, that no one’s privacy or rights are being violated by the data collectors.

  52. Tedtam Avatar

    Lovely’s last two weeks at work are turning out to be the longest. two. weeks. ever.
    Her words, not mine.

  53. Adee Avatar
    Adee

    Suddenly some darkish clouds are building around here, and it’s getting breezy. Forgot to say we had 64 at 6 today, so obviously a cool front passed by yesterday. Yea. Maybe another under 70 morning tomorrow?
    So Daniel Ellsberg’s supporting the Snowdon leak, but this time the Democrats’ ox is being gored. Oh the horror. Just what did Snowdon leak? An illegal, snooping, wide-ranging net process thus far, not specific classified materials. Yet. Unlike Ellsberg.
    And we know that just about anything merely embarrassing to an administration up to and including a lunch menu can become classified if some twit of a flunky wants it. Then there is red meat stuff Snowdon hints at that is really important yet to come. Bring it on if it gives evidence of trashing the Constitution’s protections, so all may see what this bunch is up to rather than what they say. By their fruits you shall know them.

  54. Bonecrusher Avatar
    Bonecrusher

    #56: Karl Rove was on Bill O’Reilly’s show defending the harvesting of telephone metadata and tried to draw a distinction between that and the PRISM thing. He is trying to hide behind the fig leaf that it takes a court order (FISA) to secure the warrants to search other than telephone metadata. I think it is absurd to believe that the current admin is not using the PRISM data for their own ends, especially since they have proven themselves to not be above using other govt entities (OSHA, EPA, IRS, BATFE) in a similar fashion.

  55. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    Soo….., our Sago Palm has developed a bit of a huge, umm, erection. We’ve not seen it do that before nor have the Sagos we’ve had before. Google says if no females around (or not), it will just go away. Question is, with the house showing, do we cover it up or will they understand?

  56. Super Dave Avatar
    Super Dave

    #58 GJT 😀

  57. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    I mean, we ignored it at first, but now all 16″ is just standing out there waving around in the breeze. It’s embarrassing.

  58. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    Turns out there’s an awful lot of outside contracting being done at the NSA and their phone monitoring. I’m guessing lots of lobbying goes on with those contracts. McCain has a problem with all that stuff, no? Just wondering.

  59. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    Tim, does your sago cone look like this? I think you can cut it off. Without harming the plant.

  60. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    Yep, and I read you could. But I ain’t doin it.

  61. Adee Avatar
    Adee

    #63 GJT
    LOL

  62. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    Oh, and that little thing in #62, ain’t nothin. Mines much bigger.

  63. texanadian Avatar
    texanadian

    #67: You’re a sick beyardstard. Truthful, but I didn’t need to see that.
    Mill Hall, PA. Absolutely beautiful

  64. texanadian Avatar
    texanadian

    Last?

  65. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    Go ahead, you can have last.

  66. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    I’ll take last. I’m too lazy now that I am retired to ever be first again. Except some fluke, ya know.

  67. Katfish Avatar

    last is only a concept……….no one can ever be last!

  68. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    Apparently, being last is a fluke too. Nitey nite all. 🙂

  69. fat albert Avatar
    fat albert

    After last. . . . .

  70. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    Last. Really.

  71. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    First!!!!!!!!

  72. texanadian Avatar
    texanadian

    Morning all. A little chuckle to start the day.
    http://vimeo.com/61886386

  73. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    78
    Funny!

  74. TexMo Avatar
    TexMo

    I vote in favor of GJT’s palm’s “growth” to be at the top of Tuesday’s Open Comments thread. That would be WAY better than Gordo’s procto watchamacallit.

  75. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    Let’s start a pool on how late the new thread gets open.
    I’ll take the 8:15 slot.

  76. Sarge Avatar

    81 Shannon says:
    June 11, 2013 at 7:45 am
    Let’s start a pool on how late the new thread gets open.
    I’ll take the 8:15 slot.

    Loser.
    I’m cranky today. Not enough sleep. Deal with it.

  77. Adee Avatar
    Adee

    Hi Hamsters. Checking in on the run. Hey, made it down to 69 briefly this morning. Humid with definitely only a faint trace of yesterday’s cool start. Definitely the end of that cool front.

  78. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    Guess I’ll take the 9:15 slot.

  79. mharper42 Avatar
    mharper42

    Shannon says:
    June 11, 2013 at 12:25 am Last.
    Shannon says:
    June 11, 2013 at 5:10 am First!!!!!!!!

    So Shannon, this suggests you are getting by on 4 1/2 hours of sleep. You know what they say about both ends of the candle, or the sago cone, as the case may be.

  80. GJT Avatar
    GJT

    That ain’t no sago cone, it’s a sago lightsaber.
    BTW, did y’all know the sago palm dates back to before dinosaurs? I mean that’s like 10,000 years or something right?

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