Let’s try something a little different.
Rules are essentially the same as for Word Association Football, but with sentences.
I’ll start us off; each succeeding player will add a sentence, and we’ll see if we get anything coherent out of it at the end.
“The waxy yellow buildup was proving harder to remove than Tom originally thought it would.”
Sentence Association Football
by
Tags:
Comments
-
So Tom thought, “screw this, Obama can send someone to do it.”
-
Tom tried the drill but realized he needed a left handed bit.
-
Then he realized that a waxy buildup has lubricating qualities and an idea popped into his head!
-
“If I heat it up internally to the melting point, my brain will operate faster and better.”
-
Regretting that idea, Tom tried to relax in his hospital bed.
-
That idea was quickly squashed when Hilda, his nurse, entered.
-
#1 el gordo
NO POLITICS -
Drawing the curtain around Tom’s bed, Hilda leaned over to check Tom’s pulse. 🙂
-
Seeing as how everybody knew that heating the earwax with the microwave did not turn out as expected, Tom figured he had a built in excuse and he just could not resist those voluptuos curves of Hilda.
-
He then notice the name tag said “Hildebrandt” and not “Hildegard.”
-
Tom’s quickening pulse reached a peak as Hilda leaned over him to adjust his IV drip, then began to wane as her voluptuousness began to smother him.
-
Recovering from the bosomy bliss which almost ended his life, he decided to rededicate his life towards more spiritual pursuits.
-
“Such is life”, Tom told himself, as though awakening from a dream and no longer sure of the gender of his care-giver.
-
As his dreamlike state cleared, Tom realized he was no longer in what he had thought was a hospital room and Hilda, who may have been a nurse, was definitely not a woman.
-
As he began to look around, the walls were adorned with strange things and bizarre photos, he chose right then and there to give his heart to God because his @$$ may soon belong to another.
-
And belong to another it did, as Tom learned the complete and intimate meaning of what’s known in drunk swamp redneck circles as “The Full Alabama”.
-
Now Tom was desperately wishing that he had completed the job with the microwave; perhaps he will get another shot to permanently erase his brain.
-
Now Tom awoke with a start to find himself on the floor of his own kitchen; apparently an electrical fault in the wiring of his microwave had applied a powerful jolt through his hand on the controls.
-
It certainly felt like his kitchen, but was it?
-
As Tom considered his plight, the thought occurred; was he really Tom?
-
Then he realized that Tom is a turkey’s name!
-
{I was going to participate, but you guys are just too wissing weird. I can’t even follow this story line to even begin making a contribution. Exactly WHAT drugs are you guys taking????}
-
“Egads”, thought Tom, “I wonder what Kafka would make of these strange dreams I am having today.”
-
Suddenly the thorough “exam” took on a whole new and horrifying new meaning.
-
Tom calmed himself and saw that he was not a bird, he was a man recovering from a nasty electric shock, ready now to resume normal life, so that sweet Catholic women would be able to interact with him.
-
(Hurry Tedtam, I can’t hold them off for long.)
-
Now that the Catholic girls have the waxy substance cleaned out of them, I’ll take a few of them with me before it’s done!, buhwahahahahahahaha
-
Making a mental note to get a better microwave, Tom set his sights on his planned evening activities.
-
The idea of heading off to see mud wrastlin with his Alabama buddies suddenly seemed to not be such a great idea.
-
There was a knock at the door.
-
And some guy with a long beard and heair wearing a chamois speedo was selling microwaves.
-
Tom looked past the microwave salesman, out the door, and realized that it was a dark and stormy night.
-
Inviting the speedo-clad salesman in, Tom plugged in the demo unit and began preparing toaster/microwave cheese sandwiches for himself and his new friend; BWA HAHA HA.
-
And all was well as they played a game of Parcheesi till the lights were knocked out by the storm.
-
“What was that loud thump?” Tom asked Speedo Man.
-
Suddenly the blood curdling scream of a baby with a fiery case of diaper rash who has just unleashed a torrent of acid filled urine ripped the fabric of the room.
-
Tom thought to himself, “Whose baby is that and where did it come from?” since it had been years since he had known woman.
-
In a sudden flash of lightning, it was revealed that the cry had not come a baby, but it was Tom’s pet hyena, awakened by the storm and now frightened.
-
-
but wait, tom realized something was horribly wrong, no it is not a storm but 100 truckers with lot lizards in tow surrounding his home.
-
Er — will Tom, Speedo, and the hyena go out and join the party? — Stay tooned, folks.
-
On further investigation Tom deduced that the hyena (named Frances) was not frightened by a storm, but by the furry tractor trailer operator wearing a leopard-print Speedo, whose legs were so thin in relation to his frame that he resembled Chewbacca sitting on a chicken.
-
Now we’re back in Kafkaville, as the microwave salesman morphs into a truck driver — will he be a giant cockroach next? – Stay tooned.
-
Then Tom woke up with a start and realized that eating peanut butter and liverworst pizza at midnight was a really bad idea.
-
But for some reason he had this powerful desire to clean out the wax from his ears with a power drill.
-
All that Raoul, the Arcturan Tunnelling Fruit Weevil, could think as he shot out of Tom’s ear as the Craftsman 3/16″ Qwik-Kinect bit spinning at 3,000 rpm approached, was “What the He!! was that?”
-
Speedo man quickly arose from his chair, deftly tucked his left testicle back in and squashed the weevil under his size 14 right foot.
-
A space/time warp opened up and the Arcturan PETA patrol landed in Tom’s front yard and blasted the door off its hinges.
-
With the weevil no longer impeding his hearing, Tom’s eardrums were blown out by the blast, stunning and deafening him.
-
Poor Tom staggered out into his own front yard, where he saw the Arcturan PETA Patrol mingling with the truckers and lot lizards.
-
He suddenly realized Acturan PETA partrol meant Acrturan People Eating Tasting Americans.
-
What he had previously thought to be “mingling” was actually what the Arcturan PETA Patrol thought of as “shopping for dinner”.
-
Would the hero of Ft Sill ride to the rescue of the terrified lot lizards? — stay tooned.
-
Tom mused briefly thinking “I used to think I was warped but these weekend bloggers make my warpage seem amateurish by comparison!” 🙂
-
Suddenly from the front gate of Fort Dix moving at warp speed arrived…
-
Speedo Boy! arrived just as the Arcturan PETA Patrol started eyeing Tom, who paid him twenny bux to rescue him.
-
Tom read the tatoo on Speedo Boys arm, he could not make out the first word but, a faint memory from the past came to mind; something, gas or grass, nobody rides for free, a cold sweat broke out on his brow.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.