It’s been awhile since we’ve taken our benefactor on a visit to the motherland. Without further adieu, let’s take him home for a quick visit:
- Mr. Cody Conner decided that the store he was trying to rob was so nice, he would try to seek employment there so he wouldn’t have to resort to robbing it.
- Citizens are requested to assist the Miami PARK police in finding the miscreants who beat and robbed a local cat trapper, then left him nearly naked.
- Mr. Steven Mulhall of Coral Springs appears to be a few fries short of his own personal Happy Meal. He seems to have swiped the nameplate from a judge’s door, then advertised that fine achievement on his girlfriend’s Facebook page. Judge Orlando(!) failed to see the humor.
- Gilda Barlett of Boynton Beach is the latest victim of a rash of vehicle assaults of the elderly. Oh, the humanity.
- Richard Todd successfully saved a Wendy’s restaurant in Fort Pierce from a trio of imaginary robbers. The evil 1%ers who owned the restaurant chose to oppress him in their gratitude.
- Jenifer Karina Rodriguez of Sebastian did not learn proper gratitude from her parents when she declined a FHP officer’s kind offer to reduce the severity of the speeding infraction with which she would be charged. She failed to comply with his lawful instructions, attempted to evade him, and assaulted him, among other infractions.
- Finally, some good news for new Florida mommies – they will no longer be handcuffed during delivery.