Married couples enjoy all sorts of benefits to their relationship. There are also some strange difficulties one does not fully comprehend when standing next to their beloved in front of the priest.
There’s the issue of how one squeezes the toothpaste tube: from the bottom carefully or just squeeze that b@stard in the middle for all you’re worth? Pick up your clothes immediately upon changing or let them “relax” for a while? Hang towels up to dry or fire them into a pile somewhere? Whatever the case, arguing about every simple disagreement is a sure recipe for marital discord. One must choose one’s battles carefully.
This morning I had a fight with Victor about towels. I can’t tell you the details because it wasn’t interesting enough to document at the time, but it was basically me telling Victor I needed to buy new bath towels, and Victor insisting that I NOT buy towels because I “just bought new towels“. Then I pointed out that the last towels I’d bought were hot pink beach towels, and he was all “EXACTLY” and then I hit my head against the wall for an hour.
Unlike our faithful protagonist Victor, I’ve learned that arguing over towels or something similar can bring the law of unintended consequences into play.
And not in an exactly good way.
…as Victor gave me a kiss goodbye he lovingly whispered, “You are not allowed to bring any more *&^%$# towels in this house or I will strangle you“. And that was exactly what I was still echoing through my head an hour later, when Laura and I stopped our shopping carts and stared up in confused, silent awe at a display of enormous metal chickens, made from rusted oil drums.
One must learn to carefully negotiate and calmly and politely state one’s case. Otherwise, one just might end up with a huge steel chicken on one’s porch.
Pick your battles carefully. And be careful what you demand; someone may just give it to you.
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