In honor of our host, we have a roundup of weird news items from everyone’s favorite loony-bin:
Florida lived up to its reputation for being an odd state in 2010, with residents committing stupid crimes, making poor decisions and exhibiting general weirdness.
.
There was the man pulled over in Manatee County who claimed the crack in his crack wasn’t his. Officers found bags of marijuana and crack cocaine stuffed between the man’s butt cheeks. He said the pot was his but “the white stuff is not mine.”
How big was his posterior buttockal area that he could fit “bags” of weed & booger sugar in is posterior vertical smile?
They also managed to keep various bomb squads busy:
Threatening items that bomb squads had to handle this year included a box with two kittens in Cocoa and a stuffed pony in Orange County. Authorities blew up the stuffed pony, but spared the kittens. A Melbourne street was shut down for three hours, the time it took the bomb squad to figure out the flashing object in the middle of the street was a restaurant pager.
Get back, or I swear I’ll page you!
Nor was odd news limited to the living. A family honoring a relative’s dying wish gave him a burial at sea, only to have the body resurface off a Fort Lauderdale beach.
Must have been a drifter.
Wake up ya slackers. Last chance to post an OC thread in 2010.
🙂
G, night all.
Mrs. Darren and I met as custodians and since we vacuumed together we say that our job sucked.
Whoa, I bet that “sucked”. 😉
OK, I wanted to get he kids back on a regular sleeping schedule since schol’s going to start up again soon. So inseatd of fighting “it’s scary upstairs” (the youngest two stayed home w/ Dad while Mom and the older two went to set up for a friend’s wedding) I let them fall asleep on my bed. Well, everyone’s home… Read more »
Darren
#105
Sorry Dude i tried selling vacuum cleaners door to door and that did not quite work out either. 😮 :0
Squawk #103;
All that is left to do is put on a white shirt, name tag and start knocking on doors to promote the stuff. 😉
If i can scrap up enough dinero (meaning “budget”) I think I know what to get Mrs. Darren for her upcoming b-day.
http://www.amazon.com/Microlab-MD332-Alarm-Radio-Clock/dp/B0037ENMMY
Darren
The original Mormon Martini is water over ice cubes. 😉
I mix it up with soda, tonic water, spring, branch water with a twist of lime or lemon.
Good, Mountain Dew and colas are bad for you.
#99
Not even close. I don’t do the Dew either. Can’t stand colas at all.
Darren
#96
🙂
The REAL mormon martini.
#96;
I know she doesn’t, Squawk. And it’s not cuz she wiped them all out already.
Oh dear, I just read some of those options from my #92. 😳
I like being out of the know in the drinking world.
Darren
#93
BSue does not have to worry bout those women or any other woman for that matter.
And then rams the neddle on the side of your arse to inject the B12?
Darren
#92
Nope.
Does Mrs. Squawk beat off the women in long dresses?
Mormon Surprise recipe
Is that your taste Squawk? 🙂
Heh. A definition is probably in order.
Reasonable – accepting of anything that Bible-believing Christians would find abhorrent.
I prefer James Bond Mormon Martinis. That’s shaken not stirred.
Huh, interesting.
LINK
I guess now whenever anyone asks me to administer some vitamin B12 to them I now know to say, “nooooooooo sir/mam”.
Squawk 385;
LOL, you can never go wrong going Mormon aything!
I don’t but being a good son does merit high respect from others.
Darren
#82
Ain’t gotta worry about that now. Them days are long long behind me. Now days my strongest drink is a Mormon Martini. 😉
Bob42
#60
I take back half of what I said about ya. 😉 You are a good son and you done pegged my respectometer.
Awww it is all good Brother Phil. Gave me a chance to check out Shania.
Squawk #70;
I will NOT be volunteering to administer you Vitamin B12. 😯
mharper42 On the flip side, I once put a plug-in scented oil thingie in the kitchen and then forgot about it. Later that night I was convinced that something had fermented in the garbage disposal and kept running more water through it. Now that is funny right there I do not care who you are. 😉 File this under a… Read more »
#60 Bobby
Take care of your mother and cherish her while you can.
There comes a time when you don’t get another chance.
Heh–Sorry Brother Squawk, couldn’t resist that one.
#73 TT Hmm, your portable lemon tree sounds divine! I used to do spring bulbs indoors in shallow trays of stones, and they had some very pleasant aromas. On the flip side, I once put a plug-in scented oil thingie in the kitchen and then forgot about it. Later that night I was convinced that something had fermented in the… Read more »
Dang brother Phil, warn me when you are gonna do that. 😉
I needed some high powered eye and ear wash.
KISS-ier
K.I.S.S.
For 2011 y’all take my advice, drop yer pants and slide on the ice.
I was working late last night – until I was literally read to puke and had to quit – and I was trying to figure out if Lovely had spilled perfume on the couch or something. I just snapped to the fact that we brought in my lemon tree to protect it from the last freeze and haven’t taken it… Read more »
When KISS jumped the shark.
Heh! Just noticed the “Hamous’ relatives” tag on this post. Well played, WagonTorcherDude!
Through my many years of self debauchery/debasement I have completely disproved the theory of
I also found that the best remedy for hangovers, next to the passage of time, is woofing pure oxygen combined with a shot in the arse of vitamin B12.
J U S T sayin
I’m watching Magnum, P.I. I forgot how good Tom Selleck’s legs were. Especially in those short shorts so popular back when the series was current.
And Carol Burnett is in this episode!
*UPDATED* Radical Cause and Effect: Van Jones Policies Are Redistributing Wealth to Hate Group New Black Panthers
Perhaps one reason the DOJ let the New Black Panthers off.
There FIFY
bob;
I just wanted to express that portion in my posts to you. As you could tell, I don’t debate you much anymore. We do disagree on much.
GOProud Chairman gets better of MSNBC Host
Good video. There was a co-host filling in for that dinglebat Ed Schultz. during the converation, I don’t know what he did more, smuggly smirk complete with spittle at GOProud chairman, or talk.
Darren, I luv ya man, but sometimes, actually often, I think we should agree to disagree rather than hammer out details related to the minutia of specific issues. Please understand that I have no issue with reasonable religious practices. My major beef is with authoritarian governments and those that promote and expand that authoritah, be they “liberal” or “conservative.” Thanks… Read more »
Maybe the NY Sanitation Dept could use one of these plows to clear the streets.
Couldn’t damage vehicles any more than they already have?
bob; One more thing that I forgot to point out before clicking “Post Comment” and skiddadling off to get gas. You constantly do what you did in post #43. You can’t seem to ever criticize the social left without in the same breathe criticize the social right. This is ocurre nearly 100% of the time you make any criticism of… Read more »