The Brandon Conspiracy
While we’ve been lulled into complacency with silly economic woes, oil spills, and TSA gropers, a silent invasion has been going on right under our noses. Brandons have been taking over! In the NFL alone there are 37 Brandons:
Ravens-McKinney, Brandon DE
Bengals-Ghee, Brandon DB
Bengals-Johnson, Brandon OLB
Colts-James, Brandon WR
Colts-King, Brandon DB
Dolphins-Fields, Brandon P
Dolphins-Marshall, Brandon WR
Patriots-Deaderick, Brandon DE
Patriots-McGowan, Brandon FS
Patriots-Meriweather, Brandon SS
Patriots-Spikes, Brandon ILB
Patriots-Tate, Brandon WR
Jets-Moore, Brandon G
Broncos-Lloyd, Brandon WR
Chiefs-Albert, Branden T
Chiefs-Carr, Brandon CB
Chiefs-Flowers, Brandon CB
Raiders-Myers, Brandon TE
Chargers-Dombrowski, Brandyn T
Chargers-Siler, Brandon ILB
Bears-Manumaleuna, Brandon TE
Lions-McDonald, Brandon DB
Lions-Pettigrew, Brandon TE
Packers-Chillar, Brandon ILB
Packers-Jackson, Brandon RB
Packers-Underwood, Brandon CB
Panthers-LaFell, Brandon WR
Bucs-Gilbeaux, Brandon DE
Cowboys-Williams, Brandon LB
Giants-Jacobs, Brandon RB
Eagles-Graham, Brandon DE
Eagles-Hughes, Brandon CB
Redskins-Banks, Brandon WR
Cardinals-Keith, Brandon T
Seahawks-Mebane, Brandon DT
Seahawks-Stokley, Brandon WR
Rams-Gibson, Brandon WR
Clearly Alex “Brandon” Jones is in on the treason since he has never mentioned this breach of Brandons. It appears that Foxborough, Massachusetts is the heart of this treachery. We must join forces and fight this Brandon Bloc of sedition before it’s too late.
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