Things that are caused by, may be caused by, or are suspected reactions of man-made global warming*:
Migratory bird changes | Polar Bear population decline |
Rain forest decline | Democrats in office |
Al Gore’s expanding waistline | Earthquakes |
Hangnails | Dust bunnies |
High food prices | Homelessness |
Despair | Congressional lies |
Presidential political cave-in | Hollywood hypocrisy |
Dimming of the moon | Slowing of earth rotation |
Forgetting to brush one’s teeth | Tomato contamination |
Teen pregnancy | Crappy rap music |
Low high school graduation rates | Redesign of Treasury bills |
My failure to grow vegetables | American Idol |
Los Angeles Laker’s 2008 record | Declining US IQ levels |
Bad hair days | Hurricanes |
Tornadoes | Sunny days |
Sunshine | Snow |
Swearing/cursing | Puke green paint |
Socialism | Loneliness |
Giddiness | Vertigo |
Food poisoning | Marriage |
Divorce | Sneezing |
Dry skin | Bad science |
Stupidity | Apathy |
Breakdowns on the highway | Athlete’s foot fungus |
Hairy armpits | High hospital bills |
Bad/stupid laws | Wasp stings |
Low birth rate | Overpopulation |
Rising sea levels | Rising gullibility levels |
Disco music | Pudding |
Stained glass | Broken glass |
and many, many more…
* These may not all be documented, but I trust that they will at some point. When scientists can get research grants to “prove” that it is true.